I want to give a shoutout to one of my friends who I recently learn visits this website every now and then. This is someone I grew up with. He was a few grades ahead of me and both of us relocated to different states as our careers blossomed. We’ve kept in touch throughout the years. He’s now married and planning a family and he’s become a very affluent person, to which I could not have imagined the topics on this website would interest him. Even when we were younger, he was always very studious and speaking him would always make me feel less smart because of his extended vocabulary and use of syntax, but now we are intellectually equal and we had a great conversation about where we are in our lives currently. He highlighted a few topics that he liked and told me that some of the things I talked about gave him a different angle on family, friendships, and relationships. It felt so good to hear that from a childhood friend. I never know who visits my site. I know there are a large number of you who have been with me for years and that means so much to me too. I started this just to share my thoughts and experiences and to allow people to develop several points of view about various things. I never thought this site was going to become what it has become. And I cannot thank you all enough for it.
Here’s another message from Shay (lifestyle influencer). Listen and then let’s chat.
What do you think about her message? Have you ever been involved with someone and found yourself changing what you want to match what the other person wants? I’ll admit that I have, I was also young and foolish at that time. With the woman I have become, I really don’t see myself changing too much of what I want and what my preferences are to appease someone else. But to be clear, if I really like someone, I will make some adjustments and do some things to make the person happy, but I am not going to abandon who I am or my identity for someone else.
There’s a difference when someone is showing you how to improve your mindset or your way of living, vs someone who prefers you to think how they think or only gives you praise and attention when you comply with what they want from you. You don’t want a dictator, someone who is always controlling or influencing your decisions and how you live or move.
I was in a relationship for so long where I based my decisions and happiness on someone else. That’s why when I always say to be your own person and not to give up or morals and beliefs, it’s not criticism, it’s coming from experience. About 85% of the things I discuss here is drawn from experience, the rest is things I’ve witness or have been told by other people.
I’m not here to tell you how to be, I’m here to share my lessons and my lessons don’t have to be your teacher, you can learn everything that I’ve learned on your own. But I will always say this, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is to trust yourself, don’t stray too far from your morals, and give people grace because you never know what season in life someone is in.
As for Shay’s message, never let someone make you feel that what you want for yourself is wrong of unattainable. I love when people love what I represent, even if they don’t think like I do or live like how I do, but they still admire what I’ve been able to do for myself and my family. I love having intrinsic conversations with people where we exchange thoughts about our values of life. What you place as a priority may not be what I place as a priority. And what you feel a romantic partner should do may not be what I believe and that’s fine. I like having people in my life who aren’t just like me and who give me insight on topics I’m not familiar with or things that I’ve not experienced.
I’d want my lover to be like this. If he’s exactly like me, then we are stagnant. But I also don’t want him to be so opposite from me that our morals and values don’t align and we’re in a constant battle on who’s right or who’s way is better. There has to be some similarities. I want someone who embraces me as an equal even with any differences of views we may have. As long as our foundation is solid then our differences just help us teach each other. That’s how you grow with someone.
Be safe everyone.
