Social Distancing

Shirt: Target | Blazer: H&M | Sweatpants: Sorella Boutique | Shoes: Steve Madden

03/26/2020 Update:

1. Senate approves $2 Trillion stimulus deal to help US. See HERE with live updates available.

2. With how the economy looks right now, would this be a good time to discuss finances with your significant other or even revisit certain money topics with your spouse? (Sharing Finances Article)...Devil's Advocate?

3. Anyone else having odd dreams during this crisis? (What Dreams May Come Article)

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How is everyone? Crazy times huh?

This COVID-19 Pandemic has exploded much more than many of us probably anticipated. States are shutting down and implementing “Shelter in Place” or “Stay at Home” regulations, parks and streets are practically empty, we can only order pick-up or delivery from our favorite restaurants, some of them are even becoming corner stores by providing the essentials like milk, water, and other needs. Bars are resorting to creating “drink kits” to make your favorite drinks at home to keep sales going, entrepreneurs are taking to social media to push sales, schools and companies are closing doors and encouraging online interaction and remote work.

HELPFUL TIP: Keep the camera off if you are going to do personal things like using the bathroom, and mute your mic if you are having a side conversation, and lastly be presentable if your are doing a video call. I’ve been video chatting and conferencing with people to keep some form of social interaction going. Although, I never had an issue with being distant, I enjoy my solitude…maybe a little too much…but since this has become my only option, I don’t like being told, “No, you can’t go outside.” It's like I'm grounded and being punished for something I didn't do. Yet, people all over are finding ways to stay entertained while being sanctioned indoors. Legendary DJ D-Nice made headlines when he hosted a live stream house party to encourage keeping spirits up.

Who could have imagined this is where we would be right now? I’ve set up my home office, organized my playlists and finished a few books. I also try to escape every now and then just to get some fresh air. We are facing something that our generation, younger generations, and many older generations have never faced before. It’s worrisome. I have been having a hard time sleeping just thinking about everything this virus is effecting and how our lives are basically placed on pause until this dies down.

With the Government grounding us…for our own good…a few days ago, I sent all my loved ones emails about tips and thoughts to stay “normal” during Social Distancing. For those who I did not have email addresses for, I sent a short text messages letting them know they were all in my thoughts. We have no clue how long this is going to last, but it will pass, Stay Positive.

Here is a little excerpt of the email I sent:

Keep Yourself on a Schedule:

• If you're working from home, this is really important. If you wake up, exercise, eat, etc. at a certain time, keep that same routine.

• Keep your same work hours active.

• DO NOT stay in your PJs all day.

• Ladies, still maintain your beauty routines: hair, nails, facial cleansing, etc.

• Men, same for you. I don't know what you guys do to stay appealing, but keep at it kid. 

• The main thing is not to become too comfortable and be unmotivated to do anything. The air is still breathable, you can step outside for a bit, take a walk, ride a bike, make a store run. (Stay within your cities safety protocols.)

Keep Your Kids on a Schedule:

• If you have small children, keeping them on a schedule will keep them mentally ready and active for whenever they return to school.

• Some school districts are creating online learning resources which is GREAT, but parents, DON'T STRESS YOURSELF OUT trying to keep up with their lessons.

• At best, READ to and with your children...everyday

• Allot for time away from TV, tablets, and computers.

• If you are home together, get them on the same eating and break schedule as you.

Another topic I added in the email was to not give in to reconnecting with people who are not good for you. You want to connect with people who mainly had/have a positive presence in your life. Don’t rekindle anything toxic. If you fell out with someone, think about who they were to you and if having them in your life makes you feel like they contribute to you being a better person. If yes, then by all means, mend that connection. Every relationship (friends, family, lovers) will have its ups and down, but what side out weighs the other and what type of communication do you want to have moving forward? A simple “How are you?” will suffice and depending on the response you receive, it will give you an idea on where their thoughts are.

*This next bit is a little off topic, but a thought was triggered. Do you know what I miss? I miss being courted (see what I did here?), I miss getting butterflies because of someone making an effort to see me smile. I'm all for Women's Rights and independence, but I draw the line at tipping the scales or changing the tone of "boy meets girl". Before college, I entertained the idea of going into broadcast journalism. A young man who was sweet on me listened to how excited I was about this potential career and gifted me with a microphone with my name engraved onto it for my birthday. I don’t know where that young man is today, we didn’t keep in touch; we were kids then and our attention span for each other was limited, but I’ll always remember that gift and the thought he put into it. In elementary school I also remember my classmate, who was a really good sketch artist, drawing me pictures of Winnie the Pooh and all the characters in that cartoon as his way of saying he liked me. I don’t know where that young man is either. I hope both gentlemen are doing well, they had very caring hearts.

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Back to real time, the government has pushed through a stimulus packet, see HERE for more information. Although, make sure to learn all the details, if you make above a certain salary, you may not get near $1000 and it’s likely that you may have to pay that amount back…In that case, you can keep my check, I’m good…. There will also be relief for companies and small businesses, but again, be sure to learn all the details because much of this relief will be in the forms of low interest loans.

Remember in the start of the year when I reflected on how 2019 was a dud? (Reference Adieu 2019). Welp, 2019 was a dud, but 2020 has really shown it’s ass so far, especially for me with some of the things I faced before COVID-19 came to town. Like damn, 2020, who hurt you?! Can I make it up to you in some way? Do you need a hug? I want off this ride. If 2020 was a person, it'd be that kid who runs around the store screaming while his momma ignores the noise and just keeps shopping; why couldn't you just come in, sit down, be quiet and not touch anything?

Prayers to all the Essential Workers, such as medical staff who are still out here facing this virus head on. Prayers to those who are losing business because of this. Prayers to those who have family who are susceptible to contracting COVID-19. Prayers to those who do have this virus. Prayers to ease our concerns sooner rather than later. We will overcome this.

To bring some light, here are some funnies:

*By the way, the main thing that I am most interested in seeing when this is all over is how everyone is going to act. How many epic parties and social gatherings do you see yourself partaking in? Send me an invite, I may show up. I have so many dresses just waiting to get out of the packaging…Online shopping didn’t fully shut down.

Below is a video message from Philadelphia's King Hype Man, Jason Kelce (NFL Eagles Center).

Women

Women's History Month is an annual declared month that highlights the contributions of women to events in history and contemporary society. It is celebrated during March in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia, corresponding with International Women's Day on March 8th.

What does it mean to be a woman?

Does it mean we get the shorter end of the stick, that we eat last, that we support others before supporting ourselves, that we adhere to society's standards?

No.

Being a woman means we wield more power that what we realized. We are more needed than what some of our predecessors may have acknowledged. We are more intuitive, more intelligent, and more willing than ever before.

When we play by the rules, we're good. When we defy the odds we're better.

It's no longer the men who are dominant, women have taken the role of stepping forward and making a difference.

At home, we manage our households and everything that’s included. In business, we keep climbing ladders and everything that’s included in that. In between those realms, we juggle our hopes, dreams, ambitions, right next to our friends, families, relationships, and inner peace. There's an abundance of expectations for women, especially when we're hard workers, dependable, and supportive. We are constantly at battle to prove that we can handle whatever life may throw at us. We deal with so many obstacles as women; some in public, some in private. That's why I can’t stand for people to say to me, "I can't deal with this." You can’t deal with what? Life? Especially, people who volunteered themselves to you in some way and now want to recant. Well, I'm sorry YOU cAn'T dEaL and I’m sorry I'm not as easy as you want me to be, actually, No, I’m not sorry about that but, I know a few places where you can pick up some easy women who don’t have a their minds full, should I send you some info? I have no patience for fair weather people whom are only around when things are good or just to feed their narcissistic needs.

You men aren't the only ones who do things around here, let's be very clear about that. Unless it's a young girl working entry level retail still finding her way in life and needs a little assistance, Women who've started laying down platforms have a lot to think about too. So save me the bullshit about you not being able to deal. I run circles around your life because I get my recommended six to eight hours of sleep so that my cognition and my consciousness stay healthy.

People (men) who think they can just push through all the time aren’t taking care of themselves and are in denial of it. Having the discipline to wake up early at the same time everyday is a success move, but not getting enough sleep is foolish and becomes detrimental to your health which further affects everything you do. One of the books I’m reading called “Why We Sleep” by Matthew Walker PhD goes into extreme detail about why giving your body rest is important in our efforts to take on the world. When you don’t get enough rest, it affects your eating habits, your hastiness, your ability to hold constructive conversations, your patience to understanding, your memory, it can also impact mood swings and lead to depression, anxiety, or even long term neurological disorders. Your brain becomes ‘simple’ and it gets harder for you to handle complex thoughts, let alone complex situations. Ya see where I’m going here? I’m not pulling tricks out of a magic hat, there’s been extensive research on this. I wrote about getting rest last year and it is still relevant, see HERE. Why do you think women are such strong advocates of “Self-Care”? We didn’t make up this notion just to have an excuse to go to the spa and take vacations. There is a science behind it and we proactively study it. You need time for yourself? Take it. You want to just hang out with the boys? Do it. You want alone time with you and your kids? I encourage it. You can't be the best you if you don't give back to yourself. And if you are not the best You, then you're half-ass to everyone else.

With me being the type of woman that I am, I'm not for the weak, I want the best for people but, if you are not willing to help yourself, I can only take but so much until I need to save myself. My personality is strong, I don't always listen and I talk back more than I should, but I am aware of myself and agree that there are aspects of me that others find difficult to understand. I also don't ask for much and don't require much attention. I match energies, if you get bold, I get bolder. If you don't trust me, I definitely don't have much in you either. It goes to the old saying, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” Don't expect something that you are not willing to give in return. And if you have someone who is always giving without asking for much back, consider them a blessing. I've learned that asking little of someone can be asking too much of the wrong person.

Women have always found a way. If not for themselves, then for others. We find the strength, the courage, the confidence, and the resources to shape what is needed for us to be well. Men may mock us for overthinking or being too intuitive, but many of us women like strategy and backup plans. Think of this, if women didn’t have so many options for birth control, how much effort would men really take to protect themselves? …………? …………..? When it comes to being taught about how to live and care for ourselves, girls are given different lessons from the boys. It's no secret that girls mature quicker than their counterpart, so when the older man is pursuing the younger woman, who should know better?

With many of us embarking into our own businesses or landing executive roles, we are paving the way for other women to do the same, but we hold the responsibility of setting the standards so that the next woman can achieve the same success. We can't get too comfortable. We can't give people reasons to lose confidence in what women are capable of. We also can't mix business with pleasure, that's one of the tops rules of success. And as far as dating goes, women should date across or up and never down, but dating where you work or do business....ummm, doesn't always work out for the best. Related post HERE.

As far as we have come and as much as we have accomplished, Women still have long roads ahead. Here's to us, the battles we've won, the battles we've lost, and the battles we've yet to face. Let the weak stay in the back to learn from our examples. Let the strong be our mentors and lead us up.

Previous Post: “Power Couples”

Related Women’s Topics: Working as a Single Parent to Make it all WORK... | Business Woman to Business Wife | The Busy Woman | The Boys Club

"Some of y'all ain't never had a real b*tch and it shows..." - Jhene Aiko

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In loving memory of a supportive friend who was never anything less…

This is Not a Dating Place

Dress: JLux Label | Shoes: Calvin Klein

There is all sorts of inappropriate behavior in the workplace. Many of us are immune to it because we are not offended by it although, it doesn't excuse bad behavior. Bad behavior...by policy guidelines.

I'm sure somewhere in your employment history, you've discussed religion and politics or have overheard coworkers immersed in conversation over those topics. And at happy hour, you may have gotten to chummy with someone in another department. Be very careful with what you say and do outside of the office, sometimes people will interpret the wrong message. As personable as I am, I keep my lines very defined between business and personal.

So then, what about dating in the workplace? Is it still a taboo topic? Do we not address it at all until it affects the business? More often than not, I hear of employees dating each other and it becoming a debacle. When the news gets to me, it's like an episode of Jerry Springer and I'm trying to separate two feuding children. I don't know who is right and who is wrong but, I know they can't work together or further cause disruption in the workplace.

Usually in many companies fraternizing with coworkers is frowned upon because it can lead to a shift in performance. Not to mention pursuing your employees is also a big risk and can do damage to your position. Keeping it professional is the expectation. Anytime I hear of a colleague take interest in someone at work, I voice my concerns and tell the person to be careful of their actions.

About 85% of the people I work with are married and the other 15%....No, thank you. Again, I don't mix business with pleasure and I certainly don't interfere with a marriage...for those of you who think little of someone's marriage, see my disgust on the topic HERE. (One should never be so voided of reality and morals to want the attention of someone's spouse. With all the people in the world, you want the one you can't have?) I understand people will do as they desire, but I don’t have to accept it for myself.

We've heard stories of the high power CEO making way at the young receptionist and the brawls between two women who are seeing the same executive. Humans, I tell ya, animals.

Is it worth it? I suppose I can understand that you see these people more often than you may see your friends or family and you become well acquainted with the people you work with. You have similar interests and joke with each other to get through the day. Maybe my thinking is too strict, but unless I was married to you before we began working together, than I have no interest in a relationship with anyone I work with. And how do you date someone who works for you? It's like you are paying them to be your companion, do they get extra benefits for good performance? Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm being facetious. I do however agree that women should date across and up, but not down, and for the sake of my argument, we should still date outside of workplace. Ladies, if you want him that badly, find another job or have thick skin for the scrutiny you may receive.

Now with so many dating sites that you can maneuver through right in the palm of your hands, you can sort through thousands of people in your area (Not me and don’t look for me. I signed up for one dating app for a few months in 2013, I got tired of it pretty quickly. I didn't have a bad experience, I also wasn't expecting much. I did meet some nice people, some of whom I've become friends with and still keep in touch with, others realize they weren’t getting anywhere with me and found their own exits. I'm currently not a member of any dating apps. If you see my picture, then my dear, you are being catfished. That has actually happened before. A story for another day.) You also run the chance of seeing your coworkers on these sites and other people you know from different places. A friend of mine once matched with his professor, awkward.

But how do we separate our personal interests from our professional domains? Are some of us not able to control the chemical imbalances that urge us to act like primates? Am I the outcast here? Because I don't look for romance at my place of business? If I work with you, above you, or for you, I'm most certainly not interested in you. I feel it to be an uncomfortable notion. Although, there are people who've met at work, married one another, and....well, I don't know those endings for no one in my circle has married someone they worked with. But I'm just going to go on to say, it's a safe bet not to date people you work with.

Related articles: Business Woman to Business Wife | The Busy Woman | The Boys Club