Reader Question: Checking On An Ex

May 31, 2024

One of you readers asked me the following question:

“What does it mean when my ex keeps checking up on me through other people, but he doesn't call or text me directly?”

I think this is another one of those silly things that men do. If you're over a woman, why do you keep checking up on her? And there may be several reasons. He may still genuinely care, but just wants to keep his distance. Or he may be trying to find his way back but just isn’t sure what your current situation is.

But, here’s the kicker. The reader also says that he has a current girlfriend! 🥴

We’re going to call the reader, “Ms. P”.

Ms. P says that he's been seen around with the same woman for quite some time now, but he is still asking about her. And she said that she thinks he has his friends checking her social media pages for him. Ms. P does tell me she is single and doesn't want to be involved in any mess that he might cause especially if he is in a relationship with someone. But, Ms. P, it may be one of those situations where his just passing the time with a woman but they're not really together. Relationship have so many dynamics these days, who knows who's together or not.

I asked her if she wanted her ex to reach out to her directly and I’m not going to reveal her answer but I will go on to say the following…

Someone indirectly keeping up with what you're doing could be some of the reasons I've already mentioned, but I think also, how you two ended things may play a part. Do you guys feel like everything that needed to be done and said was in fact done and said? Or do you feel there's still some open feelings there? It's hard to really say why someone keeps checking up on you after things have ended unless you ask them and even then they may not really tell you.

But Ms. P, I think you should ask him and see what type of answer you get. Although, be careful because if he is in a real relationship he needs to be clear about that too. He may just want to talk about some things that he feels he needs to say. And you did say you guys were together a long time and it's been a year since your break up. With long-term relationships, it can be hard to shake someone and it can take many years to do so. It is possible there’s unresolved feelings there, but do you want to open the door for that? And if you do reach out to him and find out that he wants to rekindle something with you then you need to know where that other woman stands if there is someone he’s seeing.

I hope that with any of my previous relationships, if they want to know what's going on then they will contact me directly. I’ve not changed my number since my early 20s, and I have a public online portfolio with my contact information on it, so I'm not impossible to reach. And if anyone is trying to keep up with me on social media or even on here, I don’t share everything. I only share a few highlights and most of my topics are influenced by your questions and engagements. For instance, if it seems like I keep mentioning someone over and over, it’s because I get inundated with your inquiries. I go with the trend of what you mostly like to read or hear about while still maintaining a level of privacy. So if any of my previous personal affairs want to know about me, then just call me, Fam!

Be safe everyone. 🙏🏽❤️

The Curriculum Of My Sensuality

May 25, 2024

ATTN: Before anyone starts loading up in the messages, YES, I do still see that someone keeps getting passed certain firewalls and leaving nasty comments. I do not know how this is occuring, but I ask all of my dedicated visitors not to focus on that type of negativity. Whoever that person(s) is, I can only hope for other people to eventually see the true nature of that person(s) and realize they can only hide their petty actions for but so long. When I would react to things like that, I would get criticized by certain people because they did not want to see what was happening to me. Things happen outside of my control and as much as I am trying to process certain damage, triggers keep appearing, and it doesn’t help when people are hostile towards me. There is nothing for me to do but to continue in my blessings and wish the best. What I discuss on my platforms or do on my own time should not upset someone so much that they say such vile things.

Happy people aren’t bitter and bitter people aren’t happy. I am not going to be part of Misery’s company.

“The Sensual Part of Me is the Best Part of Me.”

I am more intuned with myself these days. I don’t agree to things I disagree with and I don’t become too close to people who may not align with my values and long-term goals. I have realized that I see the world through my senses. You’re probably thinking, “But Raya, don’t we all use our senses?” And yes, you’d be correct, and yes, I am referring to our taste, touch, smell, sound, sight, and our 6th sense. What I am alluding to is a more sensual nature of the senses, not sexual, but sensual. The elements that make up your aura. I don’t just embrace what I see, hear, taste, smell, touch, or intuitively feel, I sit in the moment. When I eat, I don’t just enjoy the flavors, I think about the ingredients, the presentation, the textures, the time it took, and my reaction after the first bite. When I look at people, I look at them deeply, not just the curvatures of their face, but also the uniqueness of their smile, the movement in their eyes, the way they sit, the way they walk, how they enter a room. I’ve been told that I can have a very intense gaze. My eye contact makes people feel I’m looking into their soul sometimes 🤣. I do try to maintain good I contact, I think that is a part of being engaged in a conversation and active listening, but I guess I need to look away more often. 😉

Embracing your sensuality as a holistic way of life, you can cultivate a deeper connection with yourself, people, and the world around you. Sensuality is about deeply engaging with and appreciating the sensory experiences that life offers, creating a profound sense of happiness and peace.

When I say the Curriculum of My Sensuality, I am speaking about my senses of peace, happiness, and comfort. Some people just see something and have no further thought. I see something and think of its architecture. I like finding the beauty in everything, it’s one of the hallmarks I’ve developed over the years and it’s become more defined recently. Being in the essence of the outside world makes me just as happy as being in the essence of my own private space.

One of my mentees, I think she is 28 or 29, beautiful girl, dark chocolate skin, gorgeous long hair, sweet soul, and she’s been taking some style notes from me, which hey, not to pat myself on the back, but when I was in high school, everyone thought I’d be traveling the world styling the rich and famous. And my mentee is so smart, she doesn’t limit herself to the small town she grew up in. She looks around and sees people becoming complacent with their limitations and surroundings with them believing that’s the best they can do, she doesn’t think like that. She believes that working odd jobs is okay as a stepping stone, but unless it becomes a career, she believe everyone should move on to better circumstances and benefits. Yeah…that’s MY MENTEE. She’s going to do great things in life. I can sit here all day and praise her. She told me the other day, “Raya, you always have this calm radiance about you. What’s that about?” I laughed a little bit and told her that I just got better at balancing what I want, what I need, what is long-term, and what is temporary in my life. I don’t mind being the woman sitting by myself at a restaurant, I don’t mind being looked at from afar and whispered about, I don’t mind people feeling intimidated around me, I don’t mind people disliking me. But I do mind how I feel in any moment. I mind myself. How are my senses being affected and how does that affect change my mood? Then I make decisions in conjunction of my mood. I love for people to see me and see how unbothered I am, but also how happy I am.

A lively heart and a quiet life is another part of my curriculum. I told one of my friends that having high-key love and a low-key life is what works best for me. It’s what keeps me grounded. People who see me out may think I am a social butterfly, but they only see me in that element for a short period of time, while most of my time is spent inside my own little world. I don’t always attend the happening events or accept everyone invitation somewhere. I go where I feel I can be comfortable.

Life tend to push us towards all different types of connections and events, finding comfort in solitude and peace in selective interactions is a powerful act of self-preservation. It's not about withdrawing from the world, but rather about engaging with it on your own terms, in ways that nurture you rather than drain you.

Reflecting on yourself is an ongoing practice. Consider these questions when figuring out your own Curriculum of Sensuality, or Peace or Happiness, whatever you want to label it:

What Are My Non-Negotiables? Identify the core values and needs that are essential to your well-being. These are the things that you must have in your life to feel grounded and fulfilled.
How Do I Recharge? Think about the activities and environments that replenish your energy. Do you feel most at peace around family, close friends, or just having an open conversation with someone who actively listens? Understanding this helps you prioritize your time and energy.
What Drains Me? Recognize the situations and interactions that leave you feeling depleted. This awareness can guide you in setting boundaries and saying no to what doesn’t serve your well-being.
How Do I Want to Be Seen? Consider how you want to be perceived by others versus how you perceive yourself. Sometimes, the image we project might not align with our true selves. Strive to bridge that gap by living authentically.
What Brings Me Joy? Joy can come in small, unexpected moments. Reflect on the things that light up your day and make you smile. Incorporate more of these moments into your routine….especially if part of your joy is coming on here and listening to my words for a few minutes a day! Aye, I LOVE IT! 😉
Am I Listening to My Body? Pay attention to how your body reacts to different situations. Physical sensations are indicators of your emotional state. Use this information to make choices that support your overall mental well-being and happiness.

Remember that it's okay to evolve and change. Your thoughts today might not be the same tomorrow, and that's perfectly fine. Learn how to gracefully incorporate that change without any harm. Embrace the fluidity of your wants and desires, and allow yourself the time and patience to grow. Even if you’re in your 60s. We are ever growing and changing. The more in tune you are with yourself, the more equipped you'll be to navigate life's complexities, at any age or milestone.

Be safe everyone.

The Silly Things Men Do

May 21, 2024

“You entertained someone half of me. Now I look at you and think: Where’s the other half of you?”

Sorry for the background noise in the below audio, I was still in the coffee shop and wanted to share the run in.

It's no secret I have a lot of male friends. All of them are different, respectfully, and in some way, they are also all the same. It's also no secret that I love my fellas dearly...but they're still men and I still look at them sideways sometimes.

Many of you ladies have shared your stories with me and I love that you feel comfortable enough to share personal parts of your lives with me. So I came up with a summary of things men do that either makes no sense, or just completely foolish. Ladies, this one is for you. I’ve collected all your thoughts from the last few months and we are going to walk through them together. Fellas, we love you, let me say that first, but sometimes you are too all too common without any sense. I also need to mention this topic is not a dig, but there is value in sharing this because it may give all of us different perspectives on how we handle and communicate with each other.

So let’s go…

Afraid to show feelings: Fellas if you like for us to let you know what we feel or think of you, give that same energy back. If you like us to tell you how great you are, compliment you, and make you feel noticed and appreciated, do the same for us to.
Tell her you miss her: If you miss someone, SAY IT! Men, when you tell a woman you miss her there’s no telling how she will perceive that, but if you just miss her energy, conversation, and presence, there’s no shame in letting her know. You CAN tell a friend you miss them without anything being misunderstood. I have serval guy friends who I tell that I miss them, I told one them the other day and told them I wanted to plan to hang out with them soon.
Not apologizing: This one is a big one. If you have done something to hurt her, APOLOGIZE for it. Now I cannot speak for every woman, but sometimes that is all I need to hear, nothing else, no explanation, no long conversation, just an “I’m sorry for everything” or “I’m sorry for how I made you feel.” is good for me. My friends who are husbands always tell me they if their wives are upset, they find a way to make it up to her or feel better, even if it means apologizing. And sometimes they tell me that they apologize for things that they are not even clear about 😆. But it comforts their wives so they do it. I mean that's your wife, you took the highest vow for her.
Avoiding her and giving another woman attention: This one can be a little hard to navigate for some of you men. If there is a woman you think about, admire, or have some type of feelings for, don’t make her feel the latter or make her feel insignificant by giving more attention to another woman. I’m not sure if any of you are able to pick up on this, but sometimes you can feel when someone has something for you (good or bad), but if it’s good, why would you make them feel unseen? For me, small gestures mean so much like checking on me, saying something kind to me, or asking to see me….I love things like this. Just like with telling someone you miss them, it's similar here, if you like her, don’t make her believe that you don’t.
Saying things out of frustration: I hate this one and I have been more cognizant of what I say when I am upset with someone. I try not to say anything that hurts them or makes them feel less of a person, but some men still need to learn self awareness in the aspect. But when you do realize the things you said that were hurtful, APOLOGIZE. One of the truest acts of an honorable man is recognizing he did something wrong or shameful and making a mends for it. Don't claim to be a good man or at peace with everything if you’ve not made peace with those you have acted poorly towards. Fellas, get it together. If you know better, do better. 🤷🏽‍♀️
*Don’t put a lesser woman higher than a whole woman: I wasn’t sure how to label this one, but many of you ladies have shared similar stories of men seeking women who are half the woman they are and there may be many reasons for this. Ladies, do get upset, but this is some the the things my guy friends have told me:
- Sometimes a lesser woman is just there for fun because there’s nothing significant he can really have with her.
- Some older men seek younger women to make themselves feel younger and if you recall in a previous post, a friend explained that the younger generation “go after it more”, so they tend to do more for the attention and affections of a man and can be reckless in doing so, while older woman are more established in their value and confidence and require equal efforts from a man. So a man who isn't able to give equal effort will resort to a lesser woman.
- In conjunction to that, a lesser woman folds more to a man’s requests. Now, I believe in treating a man good, but you don't get top quality treatment from the start. Just like you don't automatically get a degree or a successful business, you have to work for it. And trust me, we know some men don't like that, so let those men run around with their foolishness.

✨️ But ladies, let me give you some light to all of this…

My fellas also tell me that a lesser woman cannot provide a man with the same infrastructure of companionship. This might go over some of your heads (especially the men who may have felt slighted from this topic), but basically what my guys are saying is that, don’t make yourself lesser when you worked hard and have went through a lot of experiences to make you MORE. Actually, you should take pride in being the kind of woman who doesn’t fold for a man who has lesser values in the women they decide to entertain. Think more on this, all of you.

Fellas, if you fall into any of these things, you're not the worst, especially if you realize you can do things differently. And if you are entertaining a lesser woman for thrills, then have your fun times, but don’t put that woman above a woman who you know is so much more. That's just disrespectful, not only to her, but to your persona as well. But aye, do what you want.

Be safe everyone.

May Day 🎂

May 15, 2024

“Celebrate Life”

May has always been a big month in my life and household. I not only have my birthday, but I also have my daughter’s birthday, mother’s day, memorial day weekend is always a United celebration, and the weather is getting into the summer, so yeah May is a big deal.

But, I want to make this topic short, sweet, and informative.

The older we get the more care we need to take for ourselves, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Mentally. We should keep ourselves from any unnecessary stress or conflicts. There may be people in our lives that we may like a lot, but they are not good for our mental health because they do not align with our lives enough that gives us the peace we need. They may give you joy, but do they give you PEACE? That is a personal question you need to ask yourself. Someone can give you excitement, but are they also giving you calmness and steadiness in your mind?

Physically. This one is very important especially those of us who are 35 and older. Your physical health plays a part in your overall happiness and well-being. GET THOSE CHECK-UPS! Ladies, this means go see your GYN and schedule that mammogram because the Hello Kitty and the Girls need to get check every year at the very least. Fellas, I know you guys needs to get your parts check too and it is more imperative the older you get especially if there are medical concerns in the family bloodline. Do not push anything off until later, especially if you are experience on-going pain or discomfort anywhere. We need to enjoy our lives and our loved ones, but we have to be healthy enough to do so.

Spiritually. One of the things I am learning from my new friend is that energies can transfer. I’ve always know this, but he’s been reminding me more it more and more lately. You know that saying, “Misery loves company”? People who are not in good spirits or who have underlying negative intentions will imprint their energies onto you if you are not careful around them. And that energy can drain you and affect you mentally, further affecting you physically. So someone who may seem like they are good to connect with may not be the best connection for you. The thing is you really have to pay attention to people’s moods and behaviors. If you find yourself questioning how they move and trying to correct what they do, then their spirits are in a different mode of life than you. It doesn’t mean they are bad people, but rather they are just not your kind of people to keep too close to you if you don’t have to.

Everything we do is a choice and just because something or someone is fun, doesn’t always mean it’s healthy for us long term. Definitely have your fun, but be aware of your limits too and how it impacts you and your surroundings, because your Mental, Physical, and Spirit rely on it.

Be Safe Everyone!

He Makes Me Want To Be More Feminine

May 10, 2024

“There’s 3 emotions that can kill you: 1. Love 2. Revenge 3. Greed.

I am too blessed to be greedy and I don’t have the time for revenge. ”

I don’t want to speak too much about this because I do not want to get ahead of myself, so this may be the first and last time I mention something like this.

So there is someone I’ve been getting to know. He's very new to me, not even a full year. Nothing has happened between us other than conversations, so I don’t have a pseudonym for him at the moment. It it becomes something, I may create a little nickname for him.

He's very aware of my life and what I'm trying to do so he knows that my time is limited and so is my headspace. The way he talks to me is so sweet, it's like he wants to protect my soul and he makes me feel so feminine. Let me try to explain it…

My natural vernacular, the way I speak, the tones I used when I'm excited or sad can be brass at times, but I don't do that with him. It’s like there’s a softness that takes over me and I want my words to be delicate with him. I’m nervous to share this with my friends especially the fellas because they're going to ask me to bring him around and I’m not ready to do that for two reasons. 1. I know how my guy friends are. They’ll do or say things to test him or get a feel for him, and that's not a bad thing. I’m just don’t want him to be in that scenario right now. I want to learn him some more. 2. If I bring this man around, they are going to see how different I am with him. They've seen the tough and strong Raya. They've seen the no tolerance Raya. They've never seen this version of me and to be honest THIS VERSION of me is a bit surprising to me too!

It's like as soon as I see a message from him or hear his voice or lay eyes on him, my cold exterior melts. I look at him and instantly feel like there’s a layer of love covering me and that he won't let anyone hurt me or disrespect me. Maybe he's only in my life to teach me that there are men who can make me feel like this where I can completely be soft and pink. If that's his purpose, if he here to prepare me for my next love, then I fully accept it. Because again, he knows I can't focus on a relationship right now he also knows that I need to keep my heart to myself for a little bit and that I’m only extending it to the people who’ve already been in my life for many years.

He doesn’t know the details of my most recent lover, but he knows there's some damage there. And I did tell him that I have common friends with the previous lover. He asked a few questions about that, but I expected it because yeah, if you're slightly interested in someone and they are close friends with people who's close to the last person they were involved with, how does that work? But he doesn't give me any insecure vibes or suspicious vibes. He even said that when the time is right, I will eventually have a healthy interaction with the previous lover. But he also said that anyone who was willing to give me up completely don’t really deserve to even be near me. I’m sure he was trying to make me feel good with that last statement, and it did. 🥰

He's very confident. He's not pressuring me to be anymore than a friend who he shares insightful conversations with. Who knows, that might be part of his finesse, but let me not allow my mind to go there. I've experienced men be one way when I meet them and become another way afterwards. But I’ve never been as gentle as I am and the way I am with this one.

The way he says my name makes my heart flutter. He has that southern twang in his speech but he articulates his words very well, he’s highly intelligent and with me being an academic, I admire that a lot. Even his emotional intelligence has shocked me, he listens to what I talk about and reads between my lines to pick up on what I don’t say and he doesn’t use that against me, he just listens and let’s me be as comfortable as I need to be.

But I am more surprised with myself! I know I am a good person and I know I am sweet to people especially when they are sweet to me, but I never caught myself being so soft before.

I’m fcked, aren’t I Ladies? Yeah, I think I need not to speak to him for a few weeks. I cannot make any big changes in my life right now, let alone make any changes with my heart. I am not ready for that yet and sadly, if that means I lose the connection with him, then that’s the sacrifice I need to make in order to reach the success I want and keep the peace I have. That may be unfortunate for him, but I can’t get involved with anyone’s misrepresented soul again. I still need to protect mine. I’m not a bum b*ch waiting for a man to change my life and wear me on his arm or show me to the world like a trinket. No, I’m not one of these girls living life on a whim chasing after an emotional high. I have plans, I want great things. When I am ready to love, I am going to LOVE. Right now, I like him. He’s good to my soul and making me reveal a part of me that I did not know was there.

Goodness, I hope he's as good as he seems to be, Lord knows I deserve it.

Be safe everyone.

Lessons On Class And Confidence

May 1, 2024

“My standards are too high to be out here doing what I see these girls doing for validation and attention.” - My Daughter

Finishing schools for girls used to be widely popular decades ago. They also stir up a little contravousey because some people believe these types of schools set women back and only groom them to be a man’s perfect companion and not anything more. I beg to differ. I honestly believe finishing school teach girls how to be demure and a proper lady. For instance, and call me stuck-up if you like, but I am not a fan of gum chewing. I think it’s distracting and meaningless.

To be clear, I never attended a finishing school, but I was raised by a father who taught me to be a lady and taught me to always present myself to the world as such. And trust me, when I am around my father, that’s what he sees…now, when he’s not around, that’s a different story, but I still maintain a level of class, and I know he’s be proud to know that 90% of the time, I am carrying myself like a proper citizen of society…I won’t speak too much of that 10%! ….Because some of the outfits I wear, I would NOT want him to see!

My father raised me to have confidence within myself, whereas my mother’s lessons were more about obtaining my confidence through men. Luckily, I leaned more on my father’s words than that of my mother. And almost all of my guy friends have mentioned at least once that the way I carry myself is admirable. One of them said that they know they’ll never see me bent over on a man or giving him a lapdance or being provocative in public…he ain’t wrong!

One of my guy friends was telling me that a girl approached him and wanted to go home with him and she didn't care if he knew her name or not. He said she was very forward. I was actually there and I noticed the interaction but, I know what the girl was saying. When he told me about it I said to him that some men like that, but he said NOT HIM. 🤣 He said that does not appeal to him and he ignored her advances. We both had a laugh about it the next day. Another friend said that birds of a feather flock together and if she is like that, her friends are most likely like that too and don't think twice about sleeping with any men and probably have a history of doing things like that. Ladies, this may seem fun and exciting, but that is NOT the look!

I know the music today does influence some of the extreme behaviors with these types of lyrics and how the artists are being advertised and promoted. They are preforming to keep a certain image, but me and you, we’re not getting paid to be over sexualized or to part of a hoe brand so Nah, baby, you've got to be better than that. And just think about the types of men who are turned on by women like that. Simple minded. 👀 To be fair, when things are done tasteful, it can be attractive, but the problem is too many people don't know the difference.

But let’s not focus on that, let’s go through a few points on how to exude class and confidence. This is mainly for women, but if you men see it fitting, then so be it. We don’t discriminate over here.

First and foremost, NEVER walk into a place with your arms crossed. Body language is EVERYTHING! When you walking into a bar, lounge, office building, stadium, wherever, keep a straight posture, shoulders relaxed, and arms down. When you have your arms crossed, it minimized you, and it can show a type of insecurity. Also, if you are going somewhere to meet people and you are not familiar with the place, walk in, stop, and quickly scan the room to look for your people. Also, never enter a place looking down on your phone. Look at your phone after scanning the room, but not when you first arrive.

If you are by yourself, do not be shy to speak to the people around you. If I am going out to eat or going to a bar by myself, I usually will sit at the bartop and if it is a little crowded, I find an open seat and softly smile at the people sitting nearby and I may say hello. Always give a welcoming presence. The other evening I was at a bar that I go to all the time and a man who goes there often too, but has never spoken to me, was sitting nearby and we struck up a conversation. He had mentioned that he noticed me a few weeks prior and noticed men approaching me and how I entertained the conversations, but still maintained a level of independence, as in “Yes, I am here alone, yes, I am friendly, but no, I am not a woman who is easily impressed or a woman you’re going to take home.” It’s always flattering when people notice things like this.

Also, if you are going to buy a drink for someone, no matter if you are a man or woman, just buy it, BUT there’s a way to do it without making anyone feel uncomfortable. Usually, if I am having a good conversation with someone and I notice them order another drink for themselves, I tell the bartender to put that drink on my tab. Or if I notice people I am familiar with, I tell the bartender to put their next round on my tab. And if I get myself any food, I offer to share it.

With physical contact, I don’t put my hands on anyone other then reaching out to hug someone. Or if I am in the middle of laughing, I may rest my hand on someone’s shoulder or arm, but I do not let it linger. Although, I have been known to gently keep my hands on someone’s back, but that’s only if I feel completely comfortable with the person. It’s the same if I hold someone’s hand. Sometimes if the conversation is getting sentimental, I hold out my hand for the person to hold as a gesture of consolation.

Confident people do not take in bad energy. If there is someone who is being rude, petty, or trying to intimate others, we don’t partake in that. Continue to enjoy yourself and the people who are enjoying themselves too. Women tend to do this often when they see other women who make them a little insecure about themselves. They tend to say things to their friends or whisper foul things under their breath. Ladies, we don’t get bothered by that. Actually, you should find amusement in people like that who rather have a bad attitude over a good time. Being happy in the moment will always outshine those who want to be callous.

Having class is having a behavior that shows people you cannot be affected by malicious people. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, it just means you know your value and worth to not succumb to tasteless acts. This also doesn’t mean you should always stay quiet and not defend yourself or other people, but it’s all in how you conduct yourself. If someone is speaking poorly towards me or about someone I care about, I don’t initially respond with aggression, I simply point out that they are entitled to their feelings, but I am not going to engage in whatever bad emotions they have of me or others. When you talk down on other people, it more so takes away from you because you are putting out negative energy that isn’t warranted or necessary. What’s that saying?…

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.

Even if I come across someone I am not in favor of, at the very least, I will say hi, but nothing more needs to be said. Why would you waste your time holding a conversation with someone who you do not have pleasant feelings about? Part of having class is having good characteristics. And the thing with confidence is that it doesn’t just come out of nowhere, it’s a portfolio of interactions and experiences with people, and it’s not just about people complimenting your look, it’s more so people affirming your character. And the weight of people affirming me is very heavy. So if someone is trying to make me feel small, it will be an instant failure on their part. I take the high ground as much as I can because taking that high ground separates me from people of less integrity and if you do the same things, be proud of yourself for it.

And ladies, if men lose interest because you're not easy or think you're boring because you hold yourself to a standard and won't break that standard for them, then that man go be with silly girls because he has a silly mind. A man of distinction is going to recognize a woman of distinction even if nothing ever happens between them, he’ll still admire a woman who sets herself apart from what everyone else may think is appealing. Because a man like that acknowledges and appreciates a woman who sets her own path and wouldn't want her to be less than what she is. So don’t feed into the nonsense. It never lasts. And you're better than that.

Be safe everyone…and stay classy.