Forever Doesn't Last A Long Time

May 30, 2023

“Foreva-eva?…eva-eva?”

I used to think it would be great if everything lasted forever, but now I believe in reality. Even if you are in a committed and long-term relationship, time passes so quickly that forever can seem so short and you're left with memories and if your relationship does withstand the test of time, then memories are the best attributes to your love for one another. But this isn’t about that…

Whether you are married, single, in between relationships, or just dating around, I think we can all agree that our emotions are unpredictable. What we feel today might not be what we feel tomorrow and changing our minds is at our discretion because it’s our emotions. The tricky element is someone else's emotions may not align with ours. And that’s where feelings get hurt. I wrote about change of hearts earlier this year where I mentioned that at any given moment a relationship can change course because of one or both people. And I think when that happens it's the result of wanting different things. You may have started out having the same visions, but eventually something shifts and if the person isn’t shifting in the same direction then the relationship begins to break.

Happy, Blessed & Highly Favored

I Love It Here.

I think with where I’m at in life I completely understand the concept of forever not lasting a long time. Say I decided to start something with Chicago (the young man who I met last year), I would already know going into it that it’s not going to be long-term. Even if I get so wrapped up into him, in the back of my mind, I’d still be cognizant that this love affair temporary. And let’s say for instance, the guy I call Poppa calls me up and suggesting we start getting close again. I’d have to chose who I want to have a love affair with because I won’t be with both if them. And just because I choose one over the other doesn't mean one is the better man because even with Poppa, I wouldn't go into it thinking it will last forever. So let’s say I choose Poppa and then out of nowhere the Athlete from my past pops up and wants to start spending time with me again. I’d have to make another decision between the two because if no man is contributing to my home in one way or another, I am a single woman. And it's the same for a man. We have no obligation towards each other except for our feelings. So in any event you have to decide how deep your feelings are for someone. And emotions can run strong. They can also run hot and cold. That's why I don’t like to have any expectations too high about anyone. I can love someone and not be with them because loving someone and being in love are two different characters.

Any man who I’ve been with, I don’t ever speak ill of them, I may mention things I didn't agree with, but I don’t strip a man of his qualities. I think right now, I just want to enjoy who I enjoy no matter how long it lasts, but I also want a heads up when feelings change and when our forever is coming to an end. I don’t like being left in the dark when it comes to that, but here’s the other side of it and ladies I know most of you hate my mindset about this. If I’m involved with someone and he has strong feelings for me, but when he goes out he makes little connections with other women my only requirement is don’t let those little emotions outweigh your feelings for me. Don’t let those situations effect how you act towards me. If your feelings are strong for me then protect that. Because I’m still firm on the fact if I’m fooling with you, then I’m for you and I’m going to protect my feelings for you too. This isn't one sided and it's not just about me, so I am going to give you the same love. If you feel differently about me then say it because that’s when I feel I am being played with, when a man isn’t honest about his feelings towards me.

I’m not going to go through a man's phone and nag him about where he's going and who’ll be around him. No, I chose peace. I’ll be honest with you, I used to be like that when I was with my ex. I chose chaos over peace, actually we both did and it just blew up so much that I had to walk away. And I’m not trying to say that I welcome a man to make a fool of me, no. I am just giving him the option to be careful with what he does when he's not with me OR he can choose to be sloppy and cause problems for us. But the biggest hurdle he’ll have with me is that my intuition is 99% on point. I can feel the slightest difference in someone's behavior, so he’s got to be a master at whatever he does when it comes to keeping our connection going.

When I’m around, those silly girls aren’t and they have no leverage over me and no one is trying to be in your face or push up on you. And you know who has spoiled me about that??? ALL OF MY GUY FRIENDS. Anytime I hang out with my guys, there may be some women looking their way or want to talk to them, and my friends may chat with them for a few minutes, but they don’t take their focus away from me. And I’ve never asked them to do that. And that might have made me overly confident, but why shouldn't I be? I’m not perfect, but I’m the only one who’s me. And I’m not sorry that my fellas set the bar high. Catch up. So if a man can't meet that requirement I have, then our forever is going to be very short. So forever-eva? Nah…maybe just forever-for-now.

Cougar-ish

May 23, 2023

“How long should a woman keep being selfish with her Hello Kitty?…And when does the “cougar age” begin?…Asking for a friend.” 😂

The last few months I have gotten so many messages from women telling me about their personal experiences with dating younger men. Some good and some not so good, but with all of the stories I read, ALL OF YOU NEED JESUS!

Thank you to all my willing and non-willing participants. - Love, Raya 😘

If anyone is new here, let me give you some background on why women are sharing their experiences. Last year, I met a young man whom is over 10 years younger than me. Nothing has developed other than a friendship because I let him know I cannot offer him anything more than just that. Every now and then, he tries to convince me otherwise, but I still stand my ground. He does have all the accolades of a man my age and older and I do love how he talks to me (he makes me blush sometimes with the things he says), the way he dresses could be a little better, but he’s 25 and he’s in that generation of questionable style, but he does have a beautiful smile, and very muscular…he’s a gorgeous young man, but I still will not let him have me. I even asked one of my guy friends what I should do with him and he told me that I don’t owe him anything and I have the upper hand so I can do whatever I want with him and not feel guilty about it. I think the guilty part is what keeps me from letting this young man pull my panties to the side. He’s from Chicago, so that’s what I will refer to him as.

But the stories that YOU LADIES shared with me…I feel like I need to take my brain out and wash it several times over because you are too much! But in each story, the ladies made it clear that the experience was purely for their pleasure and entertainment. Some of the women spoiled their young men, flew them out on trips, took them shopping, had them run errands, or do chores around the house….and I am just fascinated! I am capable of doing things like that for a man and I do not have issues spoiling a man, but it’s the thought of doing such things and when he cannot do the same for me is another thing I am stuck on. But Chicago is cable of treating me because he already has a professional career with a 401k and substantial savings…I still can’t give into him though.

One of you ladies suggested that I just try him out to see if this is something I can be comfortable doing. I’m like “try him out?” — He’s not a pair of shoes, he’s a person. He has feelings. I can’t just put him back on the shelf if it’s not a good fit. My guy friends tell me that if I do decide to do anything with him and I do not like the whole experience or vibe then I can just cut him off without explanation. Hey, I’ve mentioned plenty of times that my guy friends are a little unfiltered. And you know what I realized a few times when hanging out with them, I don’t think most of them know how old I am. I think they may presume I am close to their age because I connect with them very well and effortlessly, but realistically, most of the male friends I communicate with often average 8-14 years older than me. Some of them have asked me my age, but I never gave a straight answer.

“Bitties”

Dear Future Lover,
Treat me good and you will have it ALL.

As far as this whole idea of being involved with someone much younger, there is no convincing me that this is a good idea. Another woman shared that she was fooling around with a young one in college and even attended his graduation and went to his graduation party WHERE HIS FAMILY WAS AT!!! 😮 Yeahhh, I don’t want to meet any family, especially parents. Another woman shared that she went to her young lover’s baby shower, BABY SHOWER that was held at the expecting girl’s parents house! Of course I had so many questions for this devious woman! But what almost knocked my out of my chair was when she said that they had sex in the baby-momma-to-be bed while everyone was outside! I have no words. But you know what, I do like for a man I’m involved with to suggest risky things like that. 💦

From what I gathered from all of the ladies stories is that younger men want to please you because it boosts their ego and confidence to have an older woman so they are going to make more of an effort to give you what makes you happy, but they are still going to try to assert dominance because they don’t want to be treated like a child, so they may challenge you a bit…which I do not mind at all, I like for a man to put bass in his voice and check me sometimes 😼. They want you to know that they ARE grown men even though they are younger. Although, all of you ladies said in one form or another that the young ones still have their childish ways, but the good thing about being older is that you already have your life structured to how you want it, so you can close the door anytime if the young man isn’t entertaining anymore. — I’m like, Woooow, you women are COLD! 👀

I am still not convince that this is a route for me. Maybe in another 10 years, but I just cannot see myself in those kinds of situations. Chicago is just going to have to eventually move on or deal with me not giving in. 😌

The Side Effects Of Hate

May 19, 2023

“Popularity doesn't give you the same peace as solidarity.”

I only have 3 social media accounts: LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook. I use each platform for different purposes. LinkedIn is of course for work, school, and business related content. Instagram is just for fun and passing the time. Facebook is for family and people I grew up with. But with each platform, I see so much criticism, judgment, and just pure hate. I don’t entertain or join into any of than nonsense, but I always wonder what drives a person to just outwardly say nasty or disheartening things to other people? Like, you just wake up and choose to be mad? WHY? The the interesting thing is people who are like this most of the time live completely different lives than the people they dislike.

And really, it’s no different in our actual lives too. Have you ever encountered people who don’t like you for things that you have no control of? What I have experienced more is people having an issue with me because of someone else’s feelings or opinions. And it’s more often women not liking me because I am friends with a man they like or they assume a man will like me more. Sadly, this is one of the main reasons why I hang out with my guy friends more so than I do with my girl friends because women are just very catty and most women like to travel in groups together whereas, I like to come and go by myself.

Urban Vintage

A friend of a close friend has a clothing brand in Alabama. Support your people, *people*.
urbanvintageclothing.com

My two best friends are sort of similar, they don’t really have too many girl friends, as a matter of fact they are not even friends with each other. Growing up, I mixed in with all the different clicks in school and my two besties were in different clicks. They don’t have any issues with each other, they just never hang out together and I became close to each of them separately. And what I love about these two women is that they are not the gossip types or whispering behind peoples back or trying to convince people not to be friends with other people. My besties are solid and they know that I make friends everywhere so when I do get the chance to spend time with them, they keep an eye out for the people around me to make sure people don’t get out of hand with me. They don’t instigate or start trouble, they just keep it from happening and deescalate any issues if necessary because we are all adults and have a lot to lose if shit hits the fan. I learned that people who don’t have their priorities right or do not have too much going on in their lives don’t care about securing their comfort or livelihoods. Oh, but trust me, my friends will throw hands if they have to. — We just don’t make that the first or only option.

But it is very unfortunate that I get more discrimination from women than I do from men. I think this has a lot to do with their own personal insecurities and inadequacies. I am doing great in life, yes my responsibilities have conditioned me to be a certain way with a certain type of temperament, but I never digress from wishing or wanting other people to do great in life too. I am always encouraging people to achieve their goals and level up. I am also aware that my goals are not the same as the next person, for example, I never wanted roommates and I never wanted to work at a place that was not career oriented and did not encourage upward mobility. Someone else may be okay with sharing a space with someone else and staying at the same positions for many year without a promotion or substantial raise. I know in some industries, you can have the same title, but receive good raises each year or commissioned based careers. The great thing about my professional skill set is that is useful in any field of business and there is no limit to how much I can earn. I think a goal everyone should have is to be fiscally responsible; where it does not matter if you are making 45k a year or 145k a year, but if you are not smart with your money, it will never be enough. Although again, I am aware that everyone does not have the same wants as I do, but at the very least, you should not be stuck and just accepting it or praying for someone else to change your situation and then discrediting certain people because you feel threatened or intimidated.

I know I have mentioned plenty of times before that when I hang out with my guys it can look like we are together because we are laughing and being engaged in each others conversations, but that’s just how me and my fellas are; from those who I grew up with to the ones I became close to in the last few years. For instance, my one guy friend from childhood is all about me when we see each other, which is about once a year or less. If we are hanging out somewhere, he always makes sure to look over at me and ask if I’m good or if I need anything even if he has a lady friend with him, he’ll make sure I’m comfortable before anyone else. Because the one thing we should all keep in mind is no matter how many sweethearts or lovers we have whether they are long term or short term, our good friends are still there and we should not mistreat them to appease someone else.

I tell my friends that if a man gives me an ultimatum about my friendships with people, then he’s got to go. He doesn’t have to be friends with my friends, but he’ll have to learned that my friends have seen me through a lot and I’m not going to cut them off because he feels threatened. And if a man is around long enough, then he will learn that I am a loyal lover, but I am a loyal friend too. He will have not have to worry about anyone else bedding me if he is my romantic partner. None of my close guys friends are confused of my friendship with them, they know exactly where I stand and vice versa. So if any man that I may become involved with has an issue with my guy friends, I’ll hear him out, but he will not sway me to stop being friends with any of them. I’ll let him know if I am going to hang out with them, because even though I won’t accept ultimatums, I still want him to know there is nothing sneaky going on. Here’s the thing, if me and a guy are not married, we do not have kids together, or we do not share a living space together or share any finances together, then respectfully we still have our own individual lives apart from each other. I will make a point to reassure him that I’m his and loyal to him, but he’s not going to change my mind about people who have been here way before him.

I also don’t like non-humorous pettiness, like don’t come to hang out with me and my friends to be shady towards them all to prove that I’m with you. If I’m going home with you, then there is no reason for a man to be rude or disrespectful towards any of my friends. You can still show that I am with you by being attentive to me and showing love to my friends, but don’t be standoffish to anyone in my circle. If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll most likely already notice it and do what I can to accommodate a man, but don’t ever start problems with the people I love.

Hate is bad energy and it can bleed into other parts of our lives and affect our decisions and how we treat people. It can also cause us to distance ourselves from people without valid reasons other than the fact we are going off of biased judgments. We do not have to be friends, but we also do not have to tear each other down. Hate takes away from who we can or should be. It’s one of those things where you have to think, “Is this the type of person I want to be or show people?”

“If you can’t be a good friend to a woman because you're afraid of upsetting a broad you aren’t living with, then both of you are the problem.” 🤷🏽‍♀️

Talk To Me With Bass

May 16, 2023

“Are you still fooling with clowns or do you need me to come get you?” - Love, Raya 😘

Thank you to all those who have sent me birthday wishes so far. I’ve been celebrating since May 1st and we are only half way through! I’m not going out everyday, the main difference from my usual routines is when I stay in, I make myself some drinks and turn on a movie or show instead of keeping my laptop open and doing work after 5pm. By the way, have you watched “Life of Otto” yet with Tom Hanks? He’s one of my favorite actors. The movie isn't fast pace or has any action in it. It’s more sentimental and shows the phases of losing someone close and feeling empty, but it also shows the importance and impact of transferring love to other parts of your life. It’s well worth watching.

DISCLAIMER: This topic is NOT work friendly. Make sure to have your headphones in and that your Bluetooth is not connected to the conference room.

My two best friends and I have conversations about this often and we were all raised in the same area so they completely understand when I say that I when a man talks to me with bass in his voice especially when he's trying to put me in my place or handle me a certain way. 😍

A man who can leave me speechless is such a turn on, because you're not physically dominating me, you're mentally challenging in a way that makes me reflect on how I'm acting I find that so attractive. For instance, one time my young friend and I were going somewhere to just hangout and he said he was bringing his gun with him. Where we were going had a very strict weapons policy and I told him he couldn't do that and that I didn’t want to have any issues getting in. He said it was going to be fine and we went back and forth for a little bit until he finally just said with a firm tone: “Listen, I’m bringing my gun. We won’t have any problems. So stop fussing at me!” - (My nipples got excited with that 😆) I didn't say anything more about and sure enough, we got to the place, there was a whole team of law enforcement at the front and he walked up to them, I stayed back, but a few minutes later, it was like Remy Ma and Fat Joe where they just let him walk around the metal detectors…’cuz ain't no reason to check us. And at that moment, I thought to myself, this kid just keeps impressing me and I really need to keep myself away from him, but I know one thing for damn sure, no one will fck with me when he’s around! I will be fully protected.

The Effort Series

Momma was outside on Mother’s Day!…P.S. This is how I’m going to look at a man who can handle me with grace and with bass. 💦

I don't know what it is, I just love a man that's a MAN. Who knows how to treat me as a woman, like I am important to him. I know we are all busy especially those of use who have more than just ourselves to manage and especially men who have a lot on their minds, so I notice when men take time to acknowledge me like sending me a nice message, wishing me a good day, or a great weekend, things like that, but a man who also knows how to talk to me when I’m being a little too much or when I’m talking shit. A man who doesn't avoid me or insult me or tries to prove something to someone else by acting poorly towards me. A man who still see me as me and remembers that my strong personality sometimes needs the right temperament. Instead, he suppresses my dominant demeanor because he understands the patience and firmness I need so he asserts his own dominance to make me revert back to my feminine attributes. Like he lets me be who I am, but he puts me right back in my place as a woman. A man who says something like, “Okay, keep acting up, but when I get over there you better cut it out.”

One of my bestfriends told me that the longer I go without being with a man who can handle me, the more aggressive and out of control my attitude becomes 🤣. So she's going to pray for the man who gets that chance to try. And my other best friend thinks I should move back north and get me a Philly, Jersey, or New York man. 😂 Listen, I’m not going to downplay it, I do have a certain assertive attitude mainly because I worked hard to get to where I am at. I’m up at the top shelf and if a man is at the bottom shelf, we don’t speak the same language, no matter how attractive he may be. And men should have the same mindset as well, there is a lot of beautiful women out here, but all of them don’t have the same tenacity. If she’s at the bottom shelf and she’s hustling just to stay at the same place she started from, then she’s not husting, she’s just getting by. And any man that I have been involved with, if he starting dealing with a woman who isn’t at the same level in life as me or higher, then he didn’t upgrade, he just settled for something easier. And I’m sorry if I sound cocky, but again I worked hard to get where I’m at and my confidence will definitely outshine many people. So I need for someone to match my energy and not be unsure of it. Any man that I used to be intimate with and it did not work out for whatever reason, I would still want him to meet someone with high accolades or better.

Because if you’re not doing better, then what are your really doing? — Getting your 🍆 wet?

In which case, have your fun sir! 😜

And it’s not just the sense of him knowing how to settle me, I also like it for a man to make me nervous in a flirtatious way. Like if he knows he’s being charming and says something…maybe sexual that makes me blush or makes me turn away so he doesn't see me smiling. Every now and then I may say something risky to a guy and one of the besties said I need to stop doing that because a man will get tired of a woman playing games with him and these are her words, “If you’re not planning to drop off those titties and that puss to him, then stop teasing before he comes to snatch you.” 🤣 (Shiiit….I might like that. That might be just what I need. 🫠) - But just to be clear, I don’t say suggestive things to every man, I say them to men who I know won’t expect me to act on anything, even then I know that's not fair, so trust me I don’t do it often.

I do have my standards, I don’t just give myself to anyone and there's not a lot of men who can't say they've had me. Generally, if a man smells good, dresses like he has a professional career, he's funny, is a gentleman, I do find that attractive even if I don’t act on that attraction, BUT if he knows how to handle me and talk to me with bass…Ladies, my Hello Kitty is going to be like, “Okay heffa, it’s time to stop being selfish and let this Niagara fall!” 💦

Confidence + Dominance + Cockiness = I Assume Whatever Position You Want 😽

Please Him Too

May 12, 2023

“Rare breeds are just rare, they don’t have to announce it.”

Before I get into the topic I want to share this really quick. I know I am late on this, but I recently did a binge on the BelAir. The show is a newer version of Fresh Prince, but instead of a comedy, it’s a drama which is what made me hesitant to get into it in the first place. I feel like there are too many drama shows these days and I didn't want to be disappointed with this show….like the second season of Harlem with Meagan Good. Anyway, I loved watching Fresh Prince after school. It was wholesome and funny. And I did enjoy this newer version in a more critical thinking kind of way. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn't watched it yet. The first few episodes I was a little skeptical, but I stuck with it and the characters became exactly what I expected of them. Even though these are fictional people it’s still based off of real human emotions, circumstances, and tough decision making strategies. You see, regardless of backgrounds, race, and generations, human behaviors are the same everywhere. The difference is how we express and manage our behaviors and much of the scenarios in this show was slightly predictable to me, and one of my strengths and weaknesses is that fact that I am very observant of people and how they operate, but still the show was entertaining nonetheless. If you haven't watched it, I do suggest giving it a chance.

The Effort Series

Some of my friends tell me that they’ve never seen me in casual attire or even pants. Lol.

Now, on to the topic…

I wasn't sure how I wanted to talk about this topic so it's been sitting in my drafts for months now. Usually, when we talk about “pleasure” it’s mainly referring to sex. I decided this isn’t going to be about sex. Sorry if that’s what you were expecting, but I’m going to discuss something more valuable.

DISCLAIMER: Men, please don’t think I’m taking anything away from you with some of the things I’m going to say, for instance, you're egos make you more delicate than women. Let me explain. It’s considered normal and accepted for women to talk about their issues, flaws, and setbacks. The same grace isn't given to men, so all that just builds up and any puncture to a man's ego can set him off, maybe not in a huge way, but in a way that he may do things that don’t cast him in the best light.

I pay attention to things like this. I also know when men are intimidated by me. They move differently and talk to me differently and most of the time they hold themselves back from saying or doing what they want to say to me because they cannot predict how I may receive them. Even a confident man can be intimidated, I’ve experienced this first hand.

So ladies, in this topic of pleasing him too, it's more about paying attention to the man that he shows you and being gentle to the weakness he doesn't talk about. This doesn't mean allowing someone to make you foolish, but rather engage with his personality type and give just enough grace to his flaws that he feels comfortable and accepted around you. Don't forget about your feelings in the process, but also don’t give ultimatum or make compromises that don’t serve you too. Instead, acknowledge his needs in conjunction with your own and be clear with what you're willing to do to accommodate both of you. A mature man will want to discuss those accommodations, see that your willing to understand him, and give you equal affections.

In any kind of relationship, there will be peaks and valleys, but relationships that last long-term display acts of unselfishness, compromise, grace, and an equal understanding of each other’s individual lives, responsibilities, and stresses that come along with being well…an adult.

Pleasing a man is identifying that the same sort of things that make you happy can also make him happy, like asking about his day, embracing him when you see him, and speaking with him without scrutiny and criticism (outside of talking sh*t, because I’ll aways do that so a man can't get sensitive when I’m going in on him. 🤣) All joke aside, pleasing him is about not treating him how society treats him, but showing and giving him the love he needs so he can be the best man he is capable of being. But fellas, don’t think that just because a woman is loving you right that there is nothing you should be doing different or more of. If we are not improving, we are staying stagnant, and no one wants a connection that isn’t thriving.

To Be A He Or Not To Be A He?

May 5, 2023

“Sometimes we gotta do bald-headed hoe sht.” - (😂 My friends just say anything to me, but I was never one of the girls who was grinding on a man at the club. Or bending over to shake my a**. This generation is the generation that seeks validation on being seen and the men want to be treated like women.)

Some of my friends are starting to get on me about putting myself out there. I told them I went on a few dates some months ago, but I guess that doesn’t count because I really wasn’t into to who idea in the first place. But, my thing is, WHAT AM I PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE FOR? Half these men come with bullsh*t while the other half want to take advantage of that fact that I am busy and laidback. Okay, just because I do not have a lot of time to spare and that I am very easy-going doesn’t mean I’m just going to accepted any type of treatment. Now remember one of the gems that my friend told me to start putting into my daily affirmations? “I AM THE CATCH” ‼️ So yeah, you’re not going to treat me as if I’m a second-hand discounted option.

The Effort Series

This was taken in 2015. If nothing else, one thing I’ll always do is show some THIGHS & LEGSSSS!

I prefer someone who I’m comfortable with, who knows my personality, who won’t get upset when I’m not available, who I can go grab food with or cook with, and someone who I can just sit with and enjoy his company even if we aren’t doing anything. I feel like that’s simple, but it may still be a tall ask for some men. Remember when I was mentioning the guy I refer to as “Poppa” and how when we want to be alone, we kind of shut off the world around us and it can seem like we are being distant when really, that’s just how we like to decompress sometimes and reflect on things. I don’t want a guy to misinterpret that and think I’m off doing something with another man, yes I do have guys friends and I do hang out with them time to time, but if I am being intimate with you, then you are the only person I am intimate with. Like, I would love for a man to come volunteering with me or meet some of my mentees and give them some wisdom for his perspective. 👀

The question is, should I put myself out there and entertain multiple men? One of my friends told me that if a man isn’t asking me to be his girlfriend that I need to go all dates with all the different men who are interest in me. But I feel like that brings down my stock. And the more ahead in life I am, the more my stock goes up. If I make myself available to any man then what does that say about my value? 👎

In my eyes, to be intimate with someone is also to be very vulnerable with them, physically and emotionally. And I am very strict about who I am vulnerable with. Plus, do you ladies remember when I talked about our pH Balance and how sexual partners effect that? Yeah, I like my pretty kitty to be healthy. 💦 As of right now, I could drive 30 minutes to an hour away from my front door and I can count LESS than five fingers how many men I have been intimate with. Listen, I take pride in that; my Hello Kitty is precious, any man who has had the privilege to lay with me should feel special, because I don’t just give it up to any one. 💦

So no, by today’s definition, I cannot be a hoe. I’ll sit and spark up a conversation with anyone, but not anyone can have me. So if you were to see me sitting next to a man laughing and enjoying my time, it doesn’t not mean I am sleeping with him or have a romantic interest in him. I think that’s the main reason I like hanging out with my guy friends because with them, I have a male presence, they enjoy me and I enjoy them, but nothing occurs after the night is over.

And I do not have anything against women being sexually free with men, you know what you want. Especially with how social conventions have shifted with the boom of social media apps and reality tv, everyone wants to be seen and exposed and they always want to show what they are doing or tell their friends about it. That’s all fine and dandy, but hey, I know what I want too and that’s not how I want to be. I have a great social personality, but for the most part, I like to be more simple and low-key, so the hoe life ain’t for me. 😶‍🌫️