WHY DO WE KEEP MISCIMMUNICATING IN THE WORKPLACE?

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Within every work environment, there are several elements which subconsciously separate us, age, gender, culture, race, and experience. We have all heard similar statements like,

“He just set in his ways and not willing to learn.”

“They don’t understand what I do. “

“Women are too sensitive for this job.”

“This kid comes in here and thinks he knows everything!”

“He just walks around the office and does nothing all day.”

All these statements are derived from our perception of the unspoken separation.  At times, this is the main source of our miscommunication with one another.   We do not want to say the wrong thing, we want to be delicate, we want to be politically correct, or the most common hindrance, we do not want to be wrong.  No one likes a trip to HR, but also, no one wants to walk on eggshells or feel they cannot express concerns or ideas with co-workers.

Yes, we are of an EEOC work society, yes, we need to learn communication etiquette with those different from us, and yes, we need to sustain focus on the business itself.  

Assess your current work environment. Do you feel everyone effectively communicates with each other? Do you feel comfortable making statements that pertain to one’s work performance? Do you feel confident that everyone is being diligent with their daily tasks? No? Then Houston, we have a problem. 

But what improves communication and what better connects us? Simple. TRAINING.

Implementing informative and periodic training helps a staff to communicate better and creates a cohesive work environment.  Identify roles, outline expectations, structure tasks, set goals and deadlines.  Let’s call this type of training “Workplace Communication Training.”  If you create and implement this type of training, then communication issues regarding age, gender, culture, race, and experience digresses and the focus leans more on the work itself.

Whether it is group training or individual training, each person in the office needs to understand and be fully aware of his/her purpose on the team or within the office.  This training can be as simple as a staff meeting to go over how and with whom to address and resolve certain issues.  The training should be as frequent or routine with anytime a new operative is presented.  Consider the following standards.

Identify Roles

Who is head of the team? Who completes certain tasks?  Who addresses which problems? Having an “Order of Operations” lets everyone know who to speak to about certain tasks or topics.  You won’t speak to the IT person about ordering coffee for the office or ask the receptionist to create a sales proposal, right?  Each person should have a title and with that title, comes expectations.

Outline Expectations

Even though employment expectations may be mentioned during orientation, it is also good to openly discuss what you expect from an employee.  Highlight performance details and the results you want.  Give examples using skills the employee may already have or can easily attain.  Also, go over other expectations such as work hours, attire, and communication requirements or tools.  You may think this is remedial information but, you’d be surprised how some employees may think, “No one told me, so I don’t have to do it.”  Not setting expectations gives opportunities for issues among other employees.  They may chatter about unfair business practices that can cause disgruntled workers.  Keep in mind, unhappy employees may not deliver good results.  

Structure Tasks

Who does what?  Is there a backup?  There is a beginning, middle, and end to a task. When a new project comes along or if a change that needs to be had, delegate who is responsible for what part.  Also, delegate a backup person to assist if needed or necessary.  Make sure everyone understands what needs to be done and explain why it needs to be done.  When employees get the full scope of a project, they are more willing to do their part to meet goals and deadlines.  

Set Goals and Deadlines

When does the task or project need to be completed?  Be clear of an end date for a project or assignment.  Create goals throughout the process to ensure everyone is focused and on task and make each person accountable for their part, including the manager or team leader.  Do not allow anyone to not be present or to not have their part done and ready.  Setting the tone is imperative and allows each person to know what will and will not be tolerated.

Miscommunication will occur but, lack of communication is preventable.  If something is miscommunicated or not thoroughly addressed, do you think lack of communication will fix it?  This is business; this is not your family reunion with relatives you see once or twice a year, so it’s okay to be vague. No

What is that phrase? ”Change is inevitable.”  So guess what, effective and consistent communication is necessary.  As the nature and environment of businesses change and faces come and go, we all need to work better at communicating with one another.  Ideally, you want to keep personal matters at bay, although at times you may get close to some of your co-workers or not even favor others at all, but do not let that hinder your position in the office and be the narrative of how you speak to each other.  You do not want to be the source of communication problems where people are not confident in coming to you about work concerns OR the opposite, people being too comfortable coming to you about concerns that they lose sight of their own expectations.

You make up a part of a team no matter your title; your professional involvement is required.  If you want your business to function well and be lucrative, you need to actively and frequently discuss work matters with your co-workers and employees, especially if and when issues arise.  If we put aside our biases and personal differences, it will allow us to effectively discuss what the business needs to thrive.

Let’s communicate.

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"Office Housework" is keeping women in their place?

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Sometimes women blur the lines between home and office. Many of us are natural "caterers", we automatically volunteer to do certain tasks that are not in our job description because we want to be helpful, but we have to realize that being a homemaker in the office does not earn us that raise. And if a woman is getting a raise for cleaning up the break room after everyone, that is not the type of raise I want.

'Office Housework' is non-promotable tasks such as organizing birthday lunches and or planning the holiday party. As I read through 3 different articles that explained this term, I almost felt degraded, stripped of my education and work experience, because in my office, I am the one "expected" to do these exact things; set up the lunches, call around for catering, run and pick up the food if there is no delivery....what the whole fck have I been subjecting myself to?! Although, I have been great at doing these things, not one of these tasks elevated my position.

New York Times published an article which stated,

...according to  new research published in the Harvard Business Review. The study found that volunteering for what it called “nonpromotable tasks” at the office can actually shift your career into reverse. And the report showed that those who say yes to thankless tasks — like planning holiday parties, filling in for absent colleagues or serving on low-level committees — are 48 percent more likely to be women.

Women are more expected to complete these non-promotable tasks over men. In my experience, this is 100% accurate. Why? Well, the perception and sometimes explanation has been that anyone else is too busy, does not have the time, is not as good at the task, or just does not want to do it...Oh, I suppose I must have so much free time in my workday that I need more to do...or maybe it is because I am good at what I do and do not complain when there is an obstacle and people assume that my job is "simple", so why not throw another simple task my way, eh? (This is sarcasm for those who didn't get it.)

Also, in the same Harvard Business Review article, it claimed that women of color are asked to do more office housework tasks...insert the stale face look. Are we so numb to the propaganda that society has set upon us that we do not even realize what we are doing or being asked to do when this occurs? I am not going to dive too deep in this thought, but I am appalled.

My stance on this is not about equality between men and women, it is about employers, managers, and co-workers being aware of what they are asking others to do. You want a Christmas party? Great! Call an event planner for that. Yes, there are services that do just that and commissioning them will keep your employees focused on their jobs at hand. Or how about this? Create a team of co-workers to put together an event and assign a function to each person, not just throw 97% of the responsibility to one person while the remaining 3% is someone else sending email invitations.

Look, when I am at a party or event and whether or not I am the host, for the most part I like to make sure everyone is comfortable, has eaten, is enjoying themselves, the tables are clean, and the trash is not over-flowing, but in the office, my priority is making sure my data reports are accurate, I am able to make deadlines, and reaching my performance goals. A job expectation of me should not be to feed co-workers between certain hours on a particular day. It may be a nice gesture, but unfortunately, that is all it is. It does not earn me a raise or a promotion. It only earns me a chance to be asked to do the same thing again when someone else has a birthday or another big holiday comes along.

Although I am serious about my career, my career is not my husband and my office is not my home, so there are some homemaking skills and benefits my employer should not be getting from me. Yeah, I will bring something to the potluck. Yeah, I will check to see if the caterer has the correct address, but while at work, women should be focusing their time and energy on advancement and making the highest impact with their job or careers, not wiping down the break room table because everyone else is too "busy" to do it.

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Let Him Lead

As independent as women have become over the years either by force or by nature, we are sill NOT men. Let the men be men.

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No, I am not advocating to set women back to the kitchen and to stay there, I am advocating sensible gender roles. A man is masculine; a woman is feminine. I do not mind making sure a man eats or prepare a plate for him before I feed myself, although, if he is a gentleman, he’ll make sure I eat as well.

In traditional dancing practices, men lead, correct? Men hold out their hand for the woman to lay hers upon and then the gentleman leads his lady to the dance floor to begin the waltz. As strong willed as I may be, I prefer a man to lead the way…well a man who has a good sense of direction, I won’t be led to oblivion.

Ladies, please be aware when a man is taking you the wrong direction.

  • You are losing money, bills are not being paid, etc.

  • You are constantly questioning his behavior or he seems unstable

  • He is making you second guess yourself or your values

  • He is asking you or expecting you to compromise your well being

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If we share a home, I expect him to be head of the household and make choices that is best for us, although I’d like to be included in the decision making process. Even if we don’t share a home, but we are still in a committed relationship with a promising future together, I still want to be involved in what plans he may have. You see, part of being a good leader is getting input from those you are leading to ensure you make the best decisions for everyone. Talk to me about what is on your mind. Talk to me about any confusions you may have. Talk to me about an idea that could benefit us. I need for him to think things through and think about how changes would affect the both of us and our family. Yes, that IS the responsibility of leading a home, making sure we ALL come up together…otherwise, I KNOW I can do better by my damn self.

Let’s be clear, it is not only allowing him to lead, but it is also being sure that he is capable to be the leader and if he is not, should you really consider a relationship with him? Ladies, let’s not be o blinded by his image, his p——, or a few sweet gestures, that we throw out all our good sense and put him on an undeserving pedestal. There are so many great man out here, let’s not allow the unable to keep us from being able.