“Know Your Reality.”
Reader Comment: “No wife is ever okay with sharing her husband no matter what she puts up with.”
Reader Comment: “A classy woman is never a side bitch because she knows how to keep shit on the dl.”
Reader Comment: “Married men be fooling with girls who be watching Housewives of ATL and think that's how you need to be.”
Reader Comment: “These days all these girls want is another woman’s man.”
Reader Comment: “If you're with a married man, so is everyone else, you just gotta know your place in line.”
Reader Comment: “Men forget to be a gentlemen and women forget to be a lady. Ladies and gentlemen don’t kiss and tell.”
Reader Comment: “Married men are the biggest whores.”
Reader Comment: “If a chick fooling with a married man and she bragging about it, she don’t care that she a hoe.”
I guess some of you saw this upcoming topic on the main page and started sending me your thoughts about. Let me point this out first and I've made mentions about this in previous topics. There’s so many different types of relationships you can have, you just have to be realistic about the type of relationship you currently have with someone.
If you are in a relationship with someone who is married, you have to be very honest about what you can and cannot do with this person. And if this person truly has an open marriage, then their spouse will know of you or at the very least won’t have an issue knowing their partner has other partners. But it has to be a mutual understanding between the married couple. The only mutual understanding you have have as an outside party is that you will not be the priority in the relationship.
Now, I've not experienced all kinds of relationships, although I’ve experienced plenty in my time to say this much. Ladies, if you are *knowingly involved with a married man, and he is a family man and/or has kids too, you don’t get first dibs on him. No matter if he’s in an open marriage or if his wife knows of you. And regardless of the gravity of your relationship with him, you probably won’t hold a high priority in other parts of his life. If he has female friends who he hangs out with or talks to every now and then, you can be upset about that, but you're emotions are misplaced because you are consciously choosing to be involved with a married man whose sharing his availability between his home life and his outside life and parts of his outside life are going to take precedence over you.
So whatever time you can get with him, I suggest you just make the best of it. And it’s tricky because your feelings will run deep, but you have to be realistic about who that man is and what he is willing and not willing to do with you. And I apologize for just using men as the married one because with applies for men who are dating married women too. You’ve got to have a full and realistic view of your situation.
You may find yourself thinking he/she will eventually get a divorce which may or may not happen. And if that person does get a divorce there's no guarantee that you will be their next spouse. And considering they were in a relationship with you while they were married, you will have that in the back of your mind if you end up in a more secluded relationship with them.
My whole point to saying all this is, if you are going to be involved with someone who is married, don’t give yourself high hopes that you’ll be their next partner or that you're a priority to them, because then you are just going to make a fool of yourself. You have no leverage to ask a married person if they are spending time with someone else. Fam, their married, whether they are spending time with their spouse or someone else, what's the difference? Just like you don’t have any leverge to ask someone else if they are spending time with the married person you're involved with. No one owes you any comfort or an explanation in this type of situation. YOU owe yourself that comfort, if you don’t like them spending time with other people, then you need to be with someone who’s not married. This is just something constructive criticism for you. You can take offense to it or use it to decide what you're going to do with youself. A married person comes with criteria that you either accept or don’t accept. And you are not going to be privy to everything or have 100% access to them because realistically, their spouse doesn't even have 100% access to them if they are entertaining other people.
Enjoy the time you have with them and don’t get beside yourself when that person is spending time at home or with other people in their life. Don’t sink into yourself for the sake of someone who can’t give you all of themselves. And I’m not trying to say married people who date other people are horrible human beings, because you never know what is going on in someone's marriage or what type of understanding they have for their marriage. 50% of my friends are married and regardless of what they choose to do, I will still support them as long as they are not out here making themselves look like clowns, I’m keeping my mouth shut about anything I see or hear in regards to them.
I hope this topic didn't trigger any bad feelings. If you're married and dating or if you are the one dating a married person, there's got to be an element or realism. You're feelings can still be strong, but don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment and making yourself believe something that isn’t practical. A married person is a married person until they are not. And as long as they are married, you are not the priority.
Be safe everyone.
