So I figure many of you here are over 35 judging by some of your messages and the topics you like to discuss. And you've probably experienced enough to know who you are, how you are, and what benefits you bring. You all know I have a good sense of self esteem. I know my professional value and my personal value. My professional value brings me material assets to enjoy the life I want, while my personal values provide me experiences I cherish.
I made a tough business decisions recently, decisions that will change the dynamics of my life, all for the good. And within in these changes, other moving parts will also need to be adjusted. Yes, I know I am being very vague. Trust me, it’s all for purpose. These decisions did not come about without me exercising my skill set and standing firm on what I knew I deserved and what I know I’m worth. My professional life has really never been hard for me to sort out, I just have to make choices and go with it.
Our personal values can be a little more complicated, because your relationship with people differs from the next. Where someone may call me heartless, another may call me a sweetheart. I know my value as a friend and I tend to match energies with people. I get along with just about anyone, if your demeanor is warm and welcoming, mine will be just as much. And due to the type of person I know myself to be, in troubled scenarios, I either do not speak during conflicts or I match the tone of who I’m conflicting with.
We also have to identify the value of others in their different blooms of life. Let me give you an example. I have a friend who I really don’t hang out with very much, I just know him in passing and at times when we see each other, we’ll sit and chat. He runs a business that I frequent often and his staff is all under 30. Within a few years, I’ve watched him grow as a manager and an owner. He knew he couldn't successfully run his business alone, so he identified his best employees and gave them management positions. He knew that he need to let them know how much he appreciates his staff so he provides them with group trips so they can have fun and relax. But one thing I've noticed recently is his accountability. He had an inappropriate conversation with a few of his new employees which caught the attention of his managers. And each work environment and even in friend groups, gossip is just a instinctive trait. His managers got wind of what was going around and pulled him aside to let him know that he needed to stop whatever he was doing before it got out of hand. And here’s the best part, he listened to them and he went back to his employees and apologized for the inappropriate conversation and then he and I had a conversation about it.
First let me tell you, he is such a sweet and determined soul, that's what he's always shown me, so there's really nothing I could ever say bad about him. When we had our conversation, I praised him for his acknowledgement of his actions and listening to the people he put in place of trust and respect. Then I told him, “You don’t want to lose everything you build over a young girl who's got her eyes locked on you.” And I told him there's too many men who go down that path and get lost in the experience of loving the fact they have someone who they can snap their fingers to and the person would come running and willing to do whatever is asked of them. Trust me, that's not someone with their mind right. That's someone who bases their identity through someone else. And I value my friend for knowing his mistake and taking accountability for it.
Knowing your value is also knowing when people do not have your best interest. I am very lucky to have people who continuously show their love and support for me and don’t change faces on me when things get rough or if we are around other people. If you are truly friends with someone, they will not change the way they behave towards you for the sake of pleasing others, nor will they try to change you, but they will try to protect you if you are doing things that aren't the best for you.
It should be the same in romantic affairs. There is nothing wrong with being submissive…to your HUSBAND or to your committed partner, but until we get to that part, there are some things that we will need to understand about each other. I cannot speak for all women, but my stance towards men is, “If I want you to be in my life, you’ll have to understand that I’ve done and built a lot on my own, so even though I may not need you for certain parts, the essence of me wanting you should be valued and not taken advantage of.”
Be very confident with who you are and if there are things you know you could improve on, then be cognizant of improving.
Be safe everyone.
