Ladies, ladies, I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m listening. Many of your messages lately have not been male friendly, so fellas, what you all up to? I know the weather is getting hotter and foolishness isn’t far behind. So I am going to do my best to summarize the ladies’ disappointments here.
Want to know how to identify if someone is narcissistic? They don’t think about how their actions or words affect others and there's little to no remorse for it. They claim, “It's just how I am.” but don’t stop to see that maybe how they are isn’t healthy. Men aren't going to like this topic, but the ladies are saying…STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WHEN YOU DON’T.
We get wrapped up in the Hype of a Man that sometimes we excuse parts of him that still needs growth. Let me be clear, a handsome man who is humble, dresses decent, and is established doesn’t mean every category in his life is smooth or organized. He's still got things he can improve upon. We all do but, don’t let how great you think he is overshadow what he still needs to be aware of. We call these red flags now. Does a red flag eliminate a man from being great? No. Hell, all of my guy friends each have a few of their own red flags and I still think they are amazing men.
Red flags are more related to your personal preferences, so you first have to identify those and why you have certain preferences. And many times you developed preferences from previous experiences and how you want your life to be. One of my preferences is that I do not want to be involved with someone who doesn’t have tangible purposes in his life, such as a business or career, or some obligations that he has a responsibility for. I like a busy man, I also like a smart business man, not busy with doing bullshit, but busy with maintaining his life and himself and not doing things that directly hurt my feelings or hurt my value of him. And yeah, there are times men do take us for granted and don’t realize until it’s too late how great we are.
Men can be a means to an end, depending on what your end goal is with them. And ladies we have to understand that men take issues with us too. Let’s not make men accountable for everything. If you have a girlfriend who is always complaining about men, ask her about her accountability. I’ve done this with several of my friends, because a good friend with defend you in public, but hold you accountable in private. Many of my close friends and I practice this. We don’t call each other out in front of people, even if we disagree with each other. I have plenty of scenarios where a friend and I did not agree with certain things, but we did not discuss the issues in front of anyone, we discussed them privately. Romantic relationship should be like this too. If a man I am involved with is doing something that is bothering me, I’m not going to put the spotlight in front of people, even if it’s people we are close to. No, I am going to wait until we are by ourselves to mention it.
So ladies, there is a lot of good hype around men, but we cannot expect them to be perfect and we have to understand why certain things affect us the way that they do when it comes to men. Sometimes they are trying their best and their best may not be enough for you, but that’s not necessarily the man’s fault. You also have to figure out if you are asking for too much and if the answer is No, then maybe that man is not the man for you. And you also have to be reasonable with what you are asking. Now, I do agree that with these new age men, they want you to court them and chase after them and be sensitive to their feelings. Those aren’t the men I’m around or the men I would be intimate with. But it is harder to weed out the men who act and carry themselves like adult men who take control and get shit done. There are so many more Betas than there are Alphas these days and it’s disappointing. I like for a man to have a major in being an Alpha with a minor in being a Beta, because you do need elements of both, but the scale needs to be heavier on one side.
Men do drive us crazy and they call us crazy in the process, but collectively, we have to become better at knowing what we want, knowing how much to ask, and knowing when to walk away. Because what happens when you hold on too long to a loose rope? It’s going to break, and you are going to get hurt. A lot of times you are holding on because of hope, but baby sometimes you have to redirect that hope somewhere else.
Be safe everyone.
