I want to share this clip from an influencer. Her name is Shay. She and her husband live in Houston. She was furlouged during Covid, so to pass the time started creating videos on how to make thrifting look luxurious. When she achieved a large following her content evolved to more lifestyle topics for women. She's not shy about sharing how she met her husband. The started their relationship through Instagram where he sent her a message first. They had a long distance relationship and eventually as things became more serious, she relocated and now they have a beautiful marriage where in some of her content you can see how he looks at her and showers her with love and affection. Shay also sometimes shares how to keep her marriage thriving. But in this clip below she has a message to women. Listen to her message, then come back for my intake.
No. 1, I love this message. It's honest and very relative to the type of relationships people are getting themselves in. I agree with everything she said. Situationships are easy to get into and sometimes you don't realize you're in one until you start to consider what's happening and what has happened with a person. And the main thing is situationships can be hard to get out of because you just became so used to the person even if they are not fulfilling your wants and needs.
Here’s No. 2, this message isn't for me or people like me. Some of you already know why, but for anyone new, let me share. I’m not looking for marriage. I’m barely tolerable of dating. Relationships come with responsibilities that I cannot take on right now. That doesn't mean I don't want a companion or to have someone love me, I just cannot do the traditional love trail. I don't want to live with anyone. I want to keep and protect not only my space, but also my time. I’m a woman of a certain age and I don't have small children. I've had good relationships, I’ve had bad relationships. I’ve had proposals. I’ve been taken on vacations to other countries. I love it all. I’m just not at a place in my life where I have ambitions to be someone’s girlfriend or wife. I like attention when I get it, but I don't need it all the time. So I guess having a situationship fits me. To be clear, I’m not involved with anyone at this time. Situationships aren't concrete. There are kind of like an anomaly of love and emotions.
You want to know it you're in a situationship? Go back and watch the video again. If that person isn't doing the things that Shay's husband was doing for her while they were dating, it's likely you're in a situationship. Or if you've been involved with the person for a long period of time, but it seems like you're stuck in a cycle of confusion and there's no real clarity or forward mobility, then baby, you're probably in a situationship. In this case, the best thing I can tell you is, DON’T GET PREGNANT. If you think things are unclear and complicated now, it's not going to get any better with a baby.
And you know what else? My statement is going to be controversial, but situationships really workout better for mature and established adults who don't have to be codependent with someone to feel they've succeeded in life. I know some of you will have opinions against that. I welcome them. A situationship is an adult luxury. They're not for people who want committed partner, a family, and a home. And here’s the last bit of salt, if you're in a situationship with someone who’s married, they're commitment is to their spouse, not to you. Take a seat and know your place.
So if you want the family, the house, and the husband, listen to Shay. Otherwise, be safe out there.
