One of you sent me this clip, watch this first.

Fellas, do you share the same sentiments? Is it true for many of you? If you are married and have someone else on the side, is that where the person stays? And if that relationship can only go so far, how do you keep everyone’s feelings from getting hurt? And do you communicate your intentions and make that clear to the person? Or do you let the person feel like they are in a legitimate and committed relationship with you? Ladies, if you accept being the side chick, is that a real relationship to you? I’m not talking about the people who are just having fun and are very realistic about what everyone is doing and not making something more than what it is, I am talking about people who vie into these relationships wanting a promising future from it. Take a moment to think about all of this. Next, watch the rest of the clip.

Watch the whole clip HERE.

Did you watch it? What did you think about it? Many of you ladies may be on the side of the woman and that’s very admirable of you, but let’s break this down.

She starts off by saying she has been with her children’s father since they were younger. Then she says he left her, and later in the clip we learn that they were married and separated for several months. My take on this is, Okay so what? What is the issue of him being out with someone else if they are separated. Yes, the man is still legally married, but even the wife admitted they have been separated, so what did she expect? And remember, she said he left her. In my opinion, the wife’s ego is a bit bruised and her feelings are very hurt. We don’t know the details of their relationship, but the husband must of had his reasons for wanting to leave the marriage. But again, we do not know what happened, maybe the husband was telling the wife they were going to work things out and then he shows up with a date at the same place the wife is at.

And if the couple is indeed separated, does that still make the girlfriend a side chick? Yeah, he’s still married, but according to his wife, their marriage is heading to divorce. So did she not want the husband to pursue other women? It’s hard to really have a firm opinion on this because we are only getting one side of the story and there’s a lot of information we do not have about the individuals. Maybe the girlfriend was the reason the husband left because he got his feelings deeply involved and the girlfriend didn’t want to be the side chick anymore. Maybe the girlfriend was doing or saying this to the wife during the separation to make the wife upset - ladies, you know some of us are spiteful like that. I’ve had my share of spiteful women doing and saying nasty things to me, but the situation never becomes what they wanted or expected. So at the end of it all, they did all that for what? For a man who did not end up being the man to sweep them off their feet, marry them, and give them a home? Ladies, we should do our best not to let our emotions make us become horrible women, because guess who the worst bitch is? KARMA.

But let get back to these people, if the husband ends up in a serious committed relationship with the girlfriend, would it be reasonable for the girlfriend to have trust issues about the man? Like I said we don’t have enough information, but just from this clip, I get the sense that the wife did not want their marriage to end and was maybe surprised the husband left, and is upset about it so she is saying things that’s coming from a hurt place. Sometimes when we are going through hurt, we do not always think positively about everything. I don’t think the wife should have gotten up and said anything. I think she should have just enjoyed the show with her girls and had a great night, but for her own reasons that we are not clear about, she was triggered. And although I am not on either side, how we feel and how someone makes us feel is valid. When I have strong feelings about something, it’s hard to just shut them down. Maybe there was some infidelity in their marriage, that’s painful. And to then have the marriage be over, that can pile on more pain. And given the fact they have been together since they were kids, there’s a lot of history there. Women do tend to hold on to things, even when it hurts, and that’s not to torture ourselves, it’s more about reflecting on everything we gone through with someone and having hope that they still want to stand with us to face more life has together.

I feel for the wife, but I also have a bit of understanding for the husband even though we never get to hear his position about the marriage. Sometimes it’s best for things to just be over, but it can be hard when the other person isn’t ready for things to end. And that can make things very complicated for everyone. I don’t know if there is a right answer here because our emotions come and go and can be triggered by anything. We may see a past boyfriend or girlfriend randomly somewhere and old feelings come back up. Or you may want to end your marriage and start something new with someone else, but then something happens and you and your spouse end up becoming closer and reconnecting. Relationships are difficult no matter what type of relationship it is.

I really don’t know what more to say about it. Sometimes we love who we love, sometimes it’s the right time, sometimes, it’s the wrong time, and sometimes we love the wrong person at the right time and it just becomes a mess later. But it’s up to us to make that distinction on what feels right for us and how far we are willing to go with someone or how much we want to show we care. Ideally, if you are fully still involve with your marriage, everyone else is an option and don’t make them believe they can graduate from their current position if that slot isn’t open or going to be open. But if your marriage is on the brink of divorce and you are living separate lives, then hey your dating life and who you want to move forward with is up to you.

I don’t know ladies and gentlemen, there are a lot of people in this world you can connect with, I guess don’t get your nose wide open for someone who cannot give you what you want or isn’t willing to understand your parameters. Look for those of you who have been here for a while, you know my take on relationships is a bit untraditional. So aye, do the best you can out there.

Be safe everyone.