“Being mature in theory is not the same as being mature in practice.”

Many of your are trying to talk me into just getting out there and having a little fun with someone, trust me, some of my friends are doing the same. It’s not falling on deaf ears. I get what you are saying, but I do have fun anytime I step out. Although, you want to have me out here playing around with some man. I just can’t do it, well I could, but I won’t. I just can’t open up and be out here with some random man. There’s levels to this B.

He has to meet me intellectually. He has to meet me professionally. And he had to meet me maturelly. Yeah, I could go and have my way with someone, but that doesn’t gratify my soul. I’m not an instant gratification type of person. I like to have fun, but not the type of fun that will have me waking up next to a stranger or next to someone who I shouldn’t be intimate with. I was talking to a friend I’ve known for many years and we were discussing different with men and women dating at certain levels. I made the comment, I believe some older men have affinities for younger women because younger women make them feel more wanted and needed because those women are still working up to what a more mature woman may have already achieved, so she needs a sense of co-dependency with a man.

My friend added to that by saying younger women “go after” it more because that’s where their heads are at and they have yet developed parameters for themselves. Whereas older women, most of them, know what they like and they may deviate from that depending on how interested they are in the man, but for the most part they stay in the neighborhood of what they prefer. My friend also told me he recently went on a guys trip out of the country and the met a few women. Now pay attention to this next part…

My friend is older than I am and he said the women they met were very pretty, very friendly, and seemed very eager, BUT they were young. He said he would have been in trouble if one of them were at least in her 30s. He said even though they were very attractive and fun, he didn’t find interest in taking it further with any of them, and that just meeting and hanging out with beautiful women was enough. And you know what, I can appreciate a man who understands the different between superficial lust vs. tangible attraction. I can appreciate a man who can see a gorgeous woman, no matter what age, and just leave it at that and not see a pretty face and think, “Huh, maybe something could happen with her." You can be up in age and still roll with the punches, but you also need to understand the emotional intelligence of people at different ages. More importantly, you don’t need to be for everyone. Experiences can make a person more mature, but life lessons and good life skills come with age and self-reflection and the willingness to make improvements.

I admire men who can look at themselves and identify what they are attracted to, but can differentiate a substance base interest vs an unsubstantial interest.

I told my friend about the 25 year old I befriended last year and I told him the young man didn’t have much tact when speaking with me. Even though he had a professional career, lived on his own, and had achievable goals, his language and competency of life experiences was only relative to his age, his environment, and who he chose to be around. And that’s no fault to him. I can’t expect someone in their 20s to have that same knowledge of life that I have. Because as you age, you are supposed to go through experiences that can change your lenses on how to make decisions, how you carry yourself, and how you act towards people. And with that being said, recently a different young man sat next to me while I was having a drink and struck up a conversation with me. He was a cutie, and had a respectful vernacular, but with my experience with the last young man in his 20s, I just left it as a nice conversation about went about my evening. I’m no going to play games with anyone who I know is attracted to me any may try to push their luck. Especially when they just met me or don’t know me too well. Plus, from hearing stories from girlfriends who dabble in the tadpole pool, they say the young ones only have one speed 👀😬😳. I can’t work with that. I need a lover to know how to switch gears 😅. Although, some older men stick to one speed too 🙄😒.

I’m good either way. I don’t need anyone disrupting my focus or expecting more than I can give. Whenever and whomever I chose to get close to will have to be the creme-de-la-creme (well at least in my eyes, because it is all based on perception), and he will value me in the current realm of who I am, and I will value him in the current realm of who he is and we’ll go from there. Until then, I’ll be in my own business enjoying friends, family, and myself.

Be safe everyone.