“Rare breeds are just rare, they don’t have to announce it.”

Before I get into the topic I want to share this really quick. I know I am late on this, but I recently did a binge on the BelAir. The show is a newer version of Fresh Prince, but instead of a comedy, it’s a drama which is what made me hesitant to get into it in the first place. I feel like there are too many drama shows these days and I didn't want to be disappointed with this show….like the second season of Harlem with Meagan Good. Anyway, I loved watching Fresh Prince after school. It was wholesome and funny. And I did enjoy this newer version in a more critical thinking kind of way. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn't watched it yet. The first few episodes I was a little skeptical, but I stuck with it and the characters became exactly what I expected of them. Even though these are fictional people it’s still based off of real human emotions, circumstances, and tough decision making strategies. You see, regardless of backgrounds, race, and generations, human behaviors are the same everywhere. The difference is how we express and manage our behaviors and much of the scenarios in this show was slightly predictable to me, and one of my strengths and weaknesses is that fact that I am very observant of people and how they operate, but still the show was entertaining nonetheless. If you haven't watched it, I do suggest giving it a chance.

Now, on to the topic…

I wasn't sure how I wanted to talk about this topic so it's been sitting in my drafts for months now. Usually, when we talk about “pleasure” it’s mainly referring to sex. I decided this isn’t going to be about sex. Sorry if that’s what you were expecting, but I’m going to discuss something more valuable.

DISCLAIMER: Men, please don’t think I’m taking anything away from you with some of the things I’m going to say, for instance, you're egos make you more delicate than women. Let me explain. It’s considered normal and accepted for women to talk about their issues, flaws, and setbacks. The same grace isn't given to men, so all that just builds up and any puncture to a man's ego can set him off, maybe not in a huge way, but in a way that he may do things that don’t cast him in the best light.

I pay attention to things like this. I also know when men are intimidated by me. They move differently and talk to me differently and most of the time they hold themselves back from saying or doing what they want to say to me because they cannot predict how I may receive them. Even a confident man can be intimidated, I’ve experienced this first hand.

So ladies, in this topic of pleasing him too, it's more about paying attention to the man that he shows you and being gentle to the weakness he doesn't talk about. This doesn't mean allowing someone to make you foolish, but rather engage with his personality type and give just enough grace to his flaws that he feels comfortable and accepted around you. Don't forget about your feelings in the process, but also don’t give ultimatum or make compromises that don’t serve you too. Instead, acknowledge his needs in conjunction with your own and be clear with what you're willing to do to accommodate both of you. A mature man will want to discuss those accommodations, see that your willing to understand him, and give you equal affections.

In any kind of relationship, there will be peaks and valleys, but relationships that last long-term display acts of unselfishness, compromise, grace, and an equal understanding of each other’s individual lives, responsibilities, and stresses that come along with being well…an adult.

Pleasing a man is identifying that the same sort of things that make you happy can also make him happy, like asking about his day, embracing him when you see him, and speaking with him without scrutiny and criticism (outside of talking sh*t, because I’ll aways do that so a man can't get sensitive when I’m going in on him. 🤣) All joke aside, pleasing him is about not treating him how society treats him, but showing and giving him the love he needs so he can be the best man he is capable of being. But fellas, don’t think that just because a woman is loving you right that there is nothing you should be doing different or more of. If we are not improving, we are staying stagnant, and no one wants a connection that isn’t thriving.