Call me crazy or too demanding, but I don’t like the residue of past relationships. I know many of you will not agree with me and that’s okay, but hear me out…

If I am dating a man and he had a previous woman living with him, then I am not going to be so eager to move into that same space. If it’s a rental, lets wait until the lease is up and get something together. If it’s a mortgage, let’s put that place up for lease and look at getting a home of our own. I am aware this may be asking too much and not everyone is able, but I want to start fresh with someone…and burning sage may not be enough. — If I kept my place back north, I would not feel comfortable inviting a man to stay with me when my ex previously called the same place home…there’s just too much residue. I want clean energy with someone.

You have memories with a person in a place you share together. And not all memories are bad memories so I’m not asking to forget everything, but when I leave people in the past, that’s usually where they stay…you’d have to do something amazing for me to reconsider — and I’m not easily impressed. (But I also believe…and learned…what’s done should remain done.)

Don’t you want to start fresh with a new beau?

Maybe I’m thinking too much into it…which I tend to do often. Maybe the one I end up with will welcome me into his home and make me feel like I’m the only one who was ever worth staying in it and let me paint and add shelves and fixtures, maybe some new appliances, there's a Samsung refrigerator I’ve been eyeing — Goodness, I hope that’s the case….but if not, he's coming over here with a weekend bag until we decide what the next step is. (P.S. — Don't expect to get a lot of closet room at my place, which is why we should think of getting a different home together so we a customize the His & Hers closet space….just a thought — go ahead and change my mind.)

Or we can continue to live separately and be a little unorthodox with our relationship, but still welcoming each other into our spaces anytime, like having a key to each home and still allowing each other to be comfortable and stay as long as we please. There is this “Keurig” style cocktail maker I want to order by Bartesian and we’ll just have to do rock, paper, scissors to see which house it’s going to sit at, and I’d still want to make a trip to Home Depot and add a few features. I'm not closed off to the living separately idea, but we’d really need to have a good understanding of our relationship and one another. — I do come a go a lot, it’d be nice to have someone I trust make sure my place is secure and address any issues while I'm away.

Are my standards too high? Am I being unrealistic about this? I know I think differently than some of you, but let me know if I sound crazy. Lord, please let whoever “The One” is have so much patience for me. I promise I’m worth it. 😔